funfon.blogspot.com

This time it's real.

2006-09-07T16:50:00.000+10:00

I have moved HERE

No more of this 'fun' fon business!!

A response

2006-09-06T21:11:00.000+10:00

"Enlightenment for a Wave in the Ocean is the Moment the wave Realises that it is Water."

I was browsing Tedy's blog today, and there was a post with the ever-salient question: What is the meaning of life? And I thought... Hmmm... well, I'm a philosophy student, perhaps I should give it a go. And I replied in his comments section... but then I thought, I'll modify it a little and see what people think?

I had this feeling I’ve coined “the omnipresent why” after yoga-class today. And it gets me really really depressed. It's not a materialistic why - like a "why do I not have more money?" or "Why is she prettier than me?". It's a metaphysical why - "Why do I bother? Why should I keep living? Why do I do what I do? Why don't I retire to a life of meditation?" As I was walking home, I tried to reason my way out of it. But that didn’t help. So I stopped thinking about it. And then I realised something - that I’d stopped feeling cold, that I didn’t feel that my steps were heavy...

So this was the key: Stop thinking. Stop analysing. Stop thinking “I want - I think - I wish - I feel” etc.

And then I realised how pointless it is to ask why... because questions of 'why' are questions generated from the self - and these questions become meaningless when one can see beyond the ego. I ask the question "Why?" because I want answers. So I must strive to let go of this ego.

... But it’s hard... and it can be fleeting. In fact, I think I’ve lost that feeling already, and trying to describe it in words to myself is like showing a desert nomad a drop of water and saying that the ocean consists in a lot of this stuff.

... Meaning of life? We spend a lot of time contemplating the meanings of a lot of things in Philosophy, but it still doesn’t answer the questions. Perhaps it’s the very fact that after all the contemplation, there will always be questions that keeps us all going. Would you want to live in a universe where you knew everything? If this is the case - that you wouldn't want to know everything, but keep learning, then is the meaning of life the pursuit of knowledge?

Another post, since today is the day for it :)

2006-09-04T15:52:00.000+10:00

**Something worth mentioning: I checked in on www.gconsole.com (A Thai gaming site), and through that stumbled across the blog of somebody I've been worried about - he's alive and well and getting numbers off Japanese chics :) I'm happy that all is going well... Really happy. Reading this has made my day.**

Last night at work was funny... this drunk guy stumbled in, and I wasn't sure what to do cos the manager wasn't around...

Him: I want a bowl of pasta.

Me: Ok, take a seat over there.

[He sits on a table at the window, between two other tables that I'm also serving. On one table is a British-Japanese couple, and on the other, an American couple.]

Me: Do you know what you would like?

Him: [very slurred speech] Something simple... spaghetti... bolognese. [picks up wine list]

Me: Did you want something to drink as well? [oh shit oh shit oh shit - how do I tell him he's too drunk and I can't serve him alcohol?!]

Him: [stares hard at menu] Ummmmmmmmm..... [silence]....

Me: I'll just put through your pasta and let you think about that longer. How about I just bring you some water for now?

Him: Oh yes... thank-... you. Water.

[phew - good save fon!]

By the time I was back with his pasta, he'd fallen asleep on the table, slouched over and nodding.

Me: Excuse me?

Him: [...]

Me: [leaning in closer] Excuse me, would you like to eat your pasta?

Him: [...]

[The American couple and the English/Japanese couple are sniggering now]

Me: [gentle nudge] Your spaghetti bolognese?

Him: Hmm? Oh! Thank-you [starts attacking pasta]

English man: You must not be married, because you would have elbowed him in the head otherwise.

Me: Umm... [looks at Japanese lady] Is that what she does?

...

Ok.... it was a strange evening. After the drunk dude finished his pasta, he fell asleep again, and this time I got Marie to talk to him and convince him to pay the bill. Apparently he didn't remember eating the pasta and was surprised by the bill.

I was told not to serve people like that anymore by David today when I phoned in to change my account details (I should have just not told him about the incident - I thought he might have found it funny - but he didn't!)

....

Thanks again to Elvira for driving me home after work... she's just the strongest person I know! She's so responsible, so tough, and takes shit from nobody. Ultimate respect!

Strange character...

2006-09-04T15:37:00.000+10:00

Last Sunday night (not last night, but the Sunday before) I came home to the sight of a couple suitcases in the hall. I stood there, half-way done untieing my shoelaces, contemplating the strange scene. It was only eleven... but ... no Dood in the kitchen appeasing his normal midnight cravings. The lights in the apartment were off, even though his keys were hanging on the door. And the suitcases.

Taking in the new scene in my state of after-work-blur, I didn't immediately look towards the living room - but when I did, I saw that there was somebody sleeping on the sofa. Oh! I turned off the lights in a hurry...

So, one of Sarinda's friend's stayed with us from last Sunday night, and he left yesterday.

Interesting character... wasn't sure quite what to make of him. Terrible listener, and really rubbed me the wrong way most of the time, with comments such as "You look Philipino or Ozzie" or "You would make the ideal housewife", "Only Australia has people of mixed ethnicity", "Everyone in that part of the world just looks Asian", "All the Singaporeans are Chinese."

Here are a couple dialogues from the past week:

[scene: Monday night, watching Emmies, having a beer]

Me: That woman has nice skin.

Him: Oh, that's Eva Longoria - she's one of the most beautiful women in the world

Me: Ummm.... I don't watch T.V., wouldn't know who that is
[discussion continues about something else]

Him: So what's your favourite T.V. show?

Me: I don't have one. I told you - I don't watch T.V. at all. As in - I haven't myself picked up the remote control in the past ten years in order to watch T.V.

[silence]

Him: So how many hours of T.V. do you watch per day?

Me: I don't watch T.V.!!! ZERO!

Him: What? You don't watch T.V.?! How about per week?

Me: ZE - RO!

[...]

Him: What do you do in your leisure time?

Me: Not much of that - I tend to keep myself busy

Him: What are you running away from?

Me: Huh? Nothing...?

Him: But everyone who keeps themselves busy is running away from something.

Me: What, did you do a crash course in psychology recently or something?

Him: Come on - You clearly are hiding some dark secrets!

Me: [ooohhh myyyy godddddd - Dood, why did you leave me alone with this moron?!]

[scene: Tuesday morning, I'm trying to study in the living room cos I fell asleep studying in my own room]

Him: I can tell your study hard.

Me: Not always - I just have a lot of work to do this semester.

Him: No, I can see from your palm.

Me: What, you can read my palm while I'm writing?

Him: Oh - I can see some lines. Would you like me to read your palm?

Me: [...] um...

Him: [takes my right hand, looks at it for a long time]

Me: [getting uncomfortable] Aren't you going to be late for work?

Him: It's ok. [Continues looking at hand]

Me: Right... so what can you tell?

Him: [getting up] I'll tell you later. I've got to go to work now. [leaves]

[scene: Tuesday evening, having dinner. Dood is not home yet]

[Phone goes on screensaver, picture of Sid pops up]

Him: Is that your boyfriend?

Me: Yes.

Him: How long have you been together?

Me: About a year and a half

Him: It's all good?

Me: Yeah.

Him: Do you really love him?

Me: Yeah.

Him: Do you fight a lot?

Me: Sometimes - You ask too many questions!

Him: Do I make you nervous?

Me: No. But you really piss me off!

Him: Huh?... What? I piss you off?

Me: Yeah, but it's ok. It's alright to be pissed off sometimes. It doesn't mean that I really dislike you.

[scene: kitchen, Tuesday night as I'm cleaning up from dinner]

Him: I have a gift. I can tell a person inside out straight away.

Me: Yeah, a lot of guys think that.

Him: Yeah, but I really have a knack for it.

Me: [oh god, it's this f***ing male ego/instinct thing again] Oh, yeah? So tell me about myself.

Him: Ummm...

Me: Well?

Him: Don't you know about yourself?

Me: So you don't know any you're just trying to cover up

Him: [...]

[Wednesday night, Dood has gone out, I've just opened the door for our guest and excused myself, saying I have an essay to write. He called me earlier to ask if I'm home and whether we should go out for dinner. I said I've got an essay I'm working on and that I've already eaten]

[door knocks]
Him: FOooOON?

Me: [opening door] Yes?

Him: I'm going out to get dinner, care to join?

Me: I've already eaten.

Him: Do you want me to bring you something?

Me: No, I'm fine, thanks. I'm just gonna get back to my work [close door]

[door knocks again]

Me: Yeees? [get up and go open door]

Him: Are you mad at me?

Me: No! I'm just in the middle of a thought! [yeah, but now i'm getting to being mad, dammit!!]

[Scene: Friday night, I've just come back from work]

Him: Fon, what do you know about cold feet?

Me: You already asked me this on Tuesday night... And I told you, I've never been married, I don't know!

Him: But you must know. How do girls behave when they get cold feet?

Me: Honestly, I don't know! And why would all girls behave the same anyhow?

Him: What are the symptoms?

Me: I don't KNOW.

[this goes on for quite a while]

But, despite all this frustration, and rubbing the wrong way, etc... I'll miss him! He definitely was an entertaining character. He probably just arrived during the wrong week, cos I was super-grumpy, writing up my 5000 word piece (which ended up being 6500 words).

Oh... speaking of that super-essay... I feel sad. I worked so hard on it, and came to love it so much that I felt wrong shoving it in Julie Bradshaw's mailbox... like I was sending out a little child to be judged by the world. I wonder if that's what a mother feels like when she sends her child to school for the first time?

One last thing: Thanks for a beautiful Sunday afternoon:)

stay happy!

2006-08-28T08:06:00.000+10:00

"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the 'universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affectation for a few people near us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

-Albert Einstein

I've been told recently that I'm a really negative person, that I'm really pessimistic, and that I always think of the worst case scenario and get paranoid way too easily. So this is going to be my attempt at showing that I do think positively about things sometimes. Besides, I think we all need to remember to smile sometimes - so here are a few things that make me smile:

1. Soy cappucinos when my nose is cold and red... They warm me up beautifully. When I don't know what to do next, the first step is a soy cappucino, it gives me a focus, and when I'm feeling scattered, that magical drink calms me down.

2. My little Alba, who is always so happy to see me after my year in Australia that she pees herself - they way she curles up next to my tummy and falls asleep, the way she runs around in circles and darts from one corner of the room to the other when she's hyper, the way she insists on eating grapefruit, oranges, seaweed, and spicy things because she wants to eat what I eat.

3. Having little secrets that I know I will soon tell a person, like when I gave Sidhaesh his birthday present and told him he'll know when he's allowed to open it (boy was he surprised!), or when I didn't let on that I am Thai to those customers at Spaghetti tree that time.

4. Attention from my dearest: text messages, stroking hair, little kisses, that cup of coffee in the morning, fleeting glances, surprise appearances, hugs, photos, cards, smiles, special dinners, talking about me to friends, gentle words, holding hands, 'good-morning phonecalls'... and all those little details that seem so trivial

5. Babies! I love my little nephews, niece, and I love seeing little children where I work, or on a train, at the park, etc. Playing with the little people is the best thing to do in the world! And when they smile for you, it's the most rewarding thing!

6. Summer, warmth. It doesn't have to be sunny (in fact, I love a warm summer rain) - but just ... I don't want to have to think about carrying around a jacket, a sweater, thick socks... The only thing I want in my hand is yours, and the only thing I want on my feet is the sand.

*** *** *** *** ***

Been feeling guilty for my avoidance of MUISS, NLC, etc. Recently, I've been bumping into the student unionists at Monash, and they are all incredibly surprised that I'm not running in the elections, that I'm no longer involved... That I never really wanted to do any of it, even!

Ofcourse, I feel that I've gained so much more perspective on life now that I'm looking at the foolishness of the last couple years. But - no regrets - definitely gained some skills there! But in truth, I think the one thing missing in most student reps in compassion and empathy for the students... that only seems to come in after the term is over, and agendas are forgotten.

So what's this truth that I've learned about student representation? Why do I feel that no real work is being done?

Ego.

Simple as that. It's in the way - and being an office bearer only accentuates it. Now that I'm out of MUISS, I'm doing more to help my fellow students than I ever was before - and I've learned that it's not the structures that are in place that are really helping - it's the networks that we form by ourselves. And to think - how important I used to think it all was!

Now that I'm out of it all, it's so clear how little difference any of these organisations really makes, and how few people even know of their existence.

... but nonetheless, I feel guilty. I feel sorrow at the friends I could have had had it not been for the whole student-union affair gone sour

... yet, happy for the lessons it has taught me

for what it's worth, I truly wish everyone well...

*** *** *** *** ***

Hey... who knows something about Jehovah's Witnesses? We had a group of 34 at the restaurant last night who'd just finished some 3-day convention. I wouldn't have guessed they were very 'Godly' people, because essentially, they looked like a bunch of very good-looking people who were extremely 'well-oiled' and happy. All the girls - kids included - wore only dresses, and all the men (again, kids included) wore suits. Is that somehow part of the religion? Cristelle was saying that the Jehovah's Witnesses that come to her house also always wear dresses. Maybe it's just coincidence? I don't know - Hopefully I'm not offending anyone - I'm just curious is all.

As a group of people to serve (ofcourse this should have nothing to do with religion) they were rather 'well-behaved' (except the kids were clearly spoiled and got kinda all-over-the-place towards the end of dinner), but super-stingy with the tips ($1.70!), considering how much special attention they demanded! Oh, well, can't always win :P

Stressed?

2006-08-25T09:48:00.000+10:00

Hey... I know we are both working hard and stressed... but let's keep that in mind so we don't take it out on one another?

Stress just builds on stress... no point!

**edit**: a reply to Neko:

"But really this mind of ours is already unmoving and peaceful - really peaceful! Just like a leaf which remains still so long as the wind doesn't blow. If a wind comes up, the leaf flutters. The fluttering is due to the wind - the fluttering of the mind is due to those sense imporessions; the mind follows them. If it doens't follow them, it doesn't flutter. If we know fully the true nature of our sense impressions, we will be unmoved."

- Ajahn Chah

(ok, that was cheating - it's a weekend away from Monday :P)

aleX bell live!

2006-08-22T21:21:00.000+10:00

Monday baby!

2006-08-21T06:46:00.000+10:00

Your idea of bliss is to wake up on a Monday morning knowing you haven't a single engagement for the entire week. You are cradled in a white paper cocoon tied up with typewriter ribbon.

*** *** ***Ande Rebref

Maybe I won't do the sexy voiced "Happy Birthday Mr. President", but in any case, I'll take this opportunity to deviate from my Monday themed song/quote and mentally sing a birthday song for Daeshy:

"Happy Birthday to you..."

Ok, you know the rest... And if you don't, it's time to consider coming out of that cave already, or stop playing so many online games [edit: not you, daeshy, - that's directed to anyone who's been so out of touch with the world so as not to know the birthday song...]!

Anyhow, poor Daeshy is sick, and his birthday is on a Monday... talk about a rocky start to the year! I tried to be nice by bringing over this huge slice of chocolate mud-cake after work and gathering everyone (ie, his two housemates and Sanjiv who's temporarily living in the living room) around at midnight and getting Daeshy to blow out two candles... well... it was a nice surprise, but seeing as Sid is sick, he only had a bite, whilst Jeremy ate half the cake and all the cream.

I should have taken a picture... Who needs TV when you can watch Jeremy eat? While Daeshy and Vijay were absorbed in the brazil - australia women's football match on TV, I was staring at the blissful manner in which Jeremy devoured his piece of cake. You can't *not* get happy when you see him eat! It's incredible!

But I digress... my apologies... This post is about Sidhaesh, and how he should have a happy happy day today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

**EDIT: PICS from Last Night (Monday night) - Dinner at Soul Mama**

Mouths Full!

Everyone too engrossed in their meals to take a proper group photo

The famed spectacle of Mr. Jeremy Goh and his meal... here seen in less than usual splendour

Vijay was doing that on purpose...

Also, a quick recognition of two other birthdays that happened over the weekend:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Bec (20) and Clark (27) (at European Beer Bar - I stopped over for 15 minutes after work on Saturday night)

Bec looks so nice in this Pic!

SCARY picture...

*** *** ***

Just on another note... I caught up with the missing Miss Ginny Loh over the weekend - finally! Life's been tough for her, man.

Before that, I had one hell of a hectic week, but I survived it - got in all my assignments on time, plus I think I did well, too... But I had to work on my survey all weekend, which means I'm feeling exhausted, and need a day to relax, but the week is just starting! There's an essay due in today, which I haven't looked at because I was working on the survey....

There's a birthday dinner to attend tonight....

There's the monolingual part of my survey to design on Tuesday, and Wednesday to administer it, as well as work in the evening (seeing as my monolinguals are in the city, may as well kill two birds with one stone and go to work as well!).... And another assessment for Thursday. *sigh*

But that's all ahead. It'll be fine. My time-management skills have definitely improved since my first-year days.

Last night I had this beautiful dream - about a blind little boy, and his deaf grandfather, and this incredible bond they had. The grandfather would play piano for the little boy every day, and teach him to play, even though he couldn't hear it. And then the old man started going blind, too, and has trouble looking after the little child... and was afraid the boy would stop loving him...

but then I woke up, and I was in the Spaghetti Tree telling Clark and Crystelle that I need to write down my dream before I forget it. Then my alarm clock rang, and I really woke up (In bed - *phew*!)...

... but it's time to start this crazy week...

So who wrote the quote? No googling it!!!

Beta blogger

2006-08-17T08:48:00.000+10:00

Blogger went on a new Beta version on Monday, and I'm absolutely spewing that I can't make the switch yet (they are slowly migrating people over). So I decided to start a new account just so that I can start mucking about with it. So, from now on, (I think), I'm going to start using this address . It's linked back to this site, though, in case I change my mind :P

Another song about Monday

2006-08-14T16:33:00.000+10:00

Mmm when you can go out late from Monday,
till Saturday turns into Sunday,
and now you're back here at Monday,
so we can do it all over again.
And you go aah ah ah
I want a refund,
I want a light,
I want a reason,
to make it through the night, alright.

A prize for whoever guess what this song is!

(p.s. for anyone wondering, last weeks song was Monday Monday by the Mamas and the Papas)

Whatever were we waiting for? I must say that this past weekend was the most unproductive weekend academically ever (and I'm not helping the situation by blogging now!)... but I think there's been some progress in chasing some of those skeletons out of the closet!

A couple exciting things happened since last week...

I got my exchange application in two weeks ago, as you may or may not know... and then found out last Tuesday that NUS doesn't accept honours exchange applicants. Great. I'm still waiting to see if that's true, though.

Wednesday: I spoke to Arzel (after 3 years!!!)

Arzel is just one of those super-friends that I'll probably never forget :) I remember when we were working in the same restaurant, and one night I had a really bad rash on my leg (very painful!) from an allergy or something like that... and I could hardly walk. But I'd told my parents to come to eat at Dennis (which is where Arzel and I both worked, and thus, where we met) that night because I was about to go off to Spain...

Anyhow, point was, I could hardly walk, was in extreme pain, couldn't call in sick cos I told my parents to come that night... and Arzel pretty much covered the whole place on his own and left me to just deal with my mom and dad!

But yeah.... when am I coming back to Finland? I don't know, Arzel... but you're somebody I definitely have to catch up with SOON!!

Thursday: Went to see Pen-Ek Ratanaruang's "Invisible Waves" with Tenzing and Richard... must say I think Khun Ratanaruang should stick to his Thai roots and give up trying to make Japanese existentialist movies. Didn't enjoy it much... His previous films, 'Mon-Rak Transistor' and 'Last Life in the Universe' were quality films... but this... oh, well... :(

Friday: Well... back to the whole incident of the unproductive weekend, I suppose...

I'd planned it so carefully that I would be able to go to work, go see "Be With Me" (An absolutely BEAUTIFUL Singaporean movie) and do three assignments... but instead? Chased skeletons instead of doing the assignments, which I'm meant to be doing ... now. :P

But really, the important thing is that we really managed to make some things a lot clearer... so it was definitely worth it...

In the middle of all that, though, there was the incident of Miss Ginny Loh reappearing on the face of this planet (and then calling me), after 6 months missing! I'm happy she's back! And I'll be seeing her next weekend...

And at work... These Thai people came to have drinks and dessert... and I wasn't serving them, except for just helping to drop some stuff at the tables... I didn't let on that I was Thai though, and it led to some interesting results.

I was dropping a tiramisu off at the table, and these guys started openly commenting on my looks (positive comments, YAY!) in Thai. I smiled and pretended not to understand, ofcourse.

I told Clark about this, so we formulated a plan... I taught him how to say "Sawasdeekhrap" (Hello) in Thai, and so he went to them and greeted them. This group was then very impressed, and asked him where he had learned it from.

"Oh, from my colleague, Fon, the girl you were just talking about in Thai."

They were in hysterics (especially the girls in their group!).

It's useful to look different sometimes, isn't it?

The Monday Pundit and Anti-U.S.? - Just Do It!

2006-08-07T09:13:00.000+10:00

Monday, Monday, so good to me
Monday mornin', it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday mornin', Monday mornin' couldn't guarantee
That Monday evenin' you would still be here with me

Lol... maybe that doesn't quite fit the situation - except the "Monday Monday" part

Taking you all back to that night I went to the Nott like two weeks ago or so. I was talking to this first year philosophy student about veganism. I've been laughing at her deliciously irrelevant argument ever since, and I just feel like sharing that.

Me: If I knew that the cows were not caged all their lives, or that chickens weren't constantly in coops, then I'd drink milk and have eggs. After all, the stressed chickens peck out each others eyes and the depressed and bored pigs and cows are known to start chewing off their neighbours ears

Her: But there is no other way - society oppresses all of us. There is no other way for the cows and the chickens.

Me: Ever heard of free range?

Her: It's been proven that it's good for cows to milk them. Otherwise their udders hurt!

Me:... Ummm.... Huh?

Thank god there were other people around to talk to who weren't quite as incoherently drunk.

I still wonder where the comment about milking cows comes from? I wonder if some little imp was standing on her shoulder whispering in her ear: "The reason you shouldn't drink milk is cos the cow doesn't like to be milked!"

And the other argument? On the surface, still somewhat coherent... but seriously, how apathetic is it?

P1. Society oppresses us all.
P2. We have no choice but to live in society
C1. Therefore we have no choice but to accept that we are oppressed.

Sounds positively Foucaultian. I did recommend her to read Foucault. She may love him.

***

On another note: A came by from Sydney over the weekend. 'twas fun. Yesterday, we (A, T, S) were just enjoying the Melbourne weather (which behaved for a change).

At some stage, we passed the state library, where there was an anti-US, anti-war protest going on.

Ok... first, you need to know what T was wearing. He's a bit of a designer nut, so he wasn't wearing anything without a brandname on it somewhere. But most glaringly, perhaps, was his jacket, with a huge NIKE plastered in front.

Now that you know that, I'll tell you what T did. T sees the protests as we emerge from Melbourne Central onto Swanston street, and like a little child running to a candy store (Thanks to S for the analogy), he speeds to the protest, and doesn't return for 15 minutes. A, S and I were beginning to wonder if he was still alive, when, with a huge grin on his face, he emerges from the foray.

Dood! Not cool!

And, on a final note...

Daeshy:
Two days a week is WAY TOO LITTLE to see each other! *sulk, sulk*

Blogging restrictions

2006-08-01T18:29:00.000+10:00

I spend far too much time procrastinating on the internet, especially with the help of my blog. Henceforth, until the end of this semester, I shall limit myself to posting only once per week. I shall only allow myself to blog on Mondays from now on.

Today is not Monday.

Over and out.

they're after me...

2006-07-30T11:24:00.000+10:00

A nightmare....

In this dream, I lived in a really nice big apartment with Daeshy, and had my own room ... we had a little dog [it was the same dog I saw curled up next to the car tyre last night - the one I was playing with when Daeshy came to pick me up. "Why must you play with random dogs on the street?!"]. For some strange reason, we were missing a whole wall because there was some renovation work going on and everything was becoming dusty and dirty.

~~my interpretation: it's a bit metaphorical, isn't it? I guess there's still a few repairs to be made between us~~

However, to compensate, the building was allowing us to use this bigger better swimming pool that they didn't normally allow anyone to use.

I was trying to renovate my room - I really wanted a desk in it, which was in this storage space we had, and he was helping me do that...

Very vague dream...

At some stage I realised that I have to leave, that I can't stay, and I'm standing on the balcony with that dog, we're on the second floor, and I think we have to jump, it's the only way to escape, and I throw the dog down in a way I know she won't be injured. But she's scared, and she climbs back up the wall. I try to make her go down again, and once again she climbs back up the two stories.

~~my interpretation: I guess I'd never really go...~~

I decide I may as well pack before I go, since I'm going to have to take the door now. The sound of the 6 p.m. prayers (Muslim prayers) float in through the window, except they sound like the 6 a.m. morning call to prayer.

I'm trying to pack, but I can't decide which shoes to wear, and because of the missing wall, the neighbours can see into the apartment as I pack. [the apartment now has 2 floors and spans between the 8th and 9th floors] Then Daeshy is there and he's acting all cold because I am leaving. "Who's going to take over your room?"

I'm shocked that that is all he's thinking about when my life is in danger and I have to leave because of that. He sees I'm in shock, and gently says - "How about Ginny? She and her mother are in town." I was really upset, and thought I really should find a way to stay, no matter what happens to me...

~~that says it all~~

...... what a random dream?

there were lots of weird little details that I won't even start trying to describe, because they just don't make enough sense to be able to describe

... and anyhow, what on Earth has happened to Miss Ginny Loh?

Uncontactable!

INVITATION!

2006-07-28T14:58:00.000+10:00

MIFF is on!

Everyone join in!! Let me know if you are coming na

Tomorrow, 3 p.m., Regent Theatre: A Scanner Darkly

Saturday, Aug 5, 3 p.m., Regent Theatre: The Way I Spent The End of the World

Thursday, Aug 10, 9:10 p.m., Regent Theatre: Invisible Waves

Saturday, Aug 12, 1 p.m., RMIT Capitol Theatre: Be With Me
Saturday, Aug 12, 3 p.m., ACMI: The Blossomming of Maximo Oliveros

Happy Birthday (belated)

2006-07-28T11:08:00.000+10:00

Yesterday was my blog's second birthday :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Somehow I don't think my blog will feel upset that I forgot, though ;P

But more importantly... Today is P'Oad's birthday

Ofcourse, he doesn't read my blog, so this is a little pointless...

Since I'm not going to have a change to call today (I don't think), would somebody please convey him the message that his sister wishes him a happy birthday if they speak to him after reading this? (P'Oad is one of the few rare people who simply DON'T USE E-MAIL. ~grrrr)

*** *** ***

I wish I'd taken my camera along to the Nott last night. I rarely ever go, and don't know when I'll actually go again. It's a bit too much to have a drink on Thursday night when I actually get up at 7:30 on Friday morning (even though I don't have class!). But I definitely had fun - it's good to take a break sometimes, right? Company? Great! I've known Lashi for two and a half years and I'm wondering why I didn't go for a drink with him and his friends sooner? What a character! He made me drink a whole jug of beer on my own :( :( :(

Something I shall not be repeating any time soon!

I also had a good chat with this girl, Nu - she's a first year student studying philosophy... Just a couple days ago I felt like I've learned nothing in the past two and a half years... but listening to her using the same arguments that I was using back two years ago (but coming to different comclusions to me), I've realised how much more analytical I've actually become.

Also had a chance to practice Spanish at length, with this guy called Michael, who studied in Spain for about a year and a half! That was taxing on the brain, especially after all that beer, though :P

Good stuff...

Thursdays at the Nott... Monash culture :)

Weekend coming up... work, Daeshy, and a little bit of chill...

*** *** ***

Final note: I'm sick of my big, bulky, accident-prone, electric-shock giving, feature packed but unfunctional i-mate PDA phone now. It's 2 and a half years old and I swear it has developed into a person with it's own intentions and aspirations. As such, I feel that it would be unethical to continue to enslave the rational being with a mind of its own.

Justice for all! (yeah brotha!!)

As such... I did a little bit of research, and decided that I shall shell out AUD$500 from my savings and get THIS phone

Not the latest model, but I think it's a fair deal pricewise. And no, I don't want comments on my decision (such as "fon - WTF??!) on this issue, UNLESS they are positive!!

Comments, please?

2006-07-26T14:12:00.000+10:00

**I have to submit a statement of purpose for my exchange application... self-promotion is difficult man! Please let me know what you think!! I've already edited this a little bit after some constructive comments (Thanks Gu & Daeshy)**

Statement of Purpose for Honours Study Abroad

Valisa Anniina Sipila (Fon)

19294999

I’ve grown up as what I like to call “globally unsettled dust”, otherwise known as a “third culture kid” in the literature. Before I landed in Melbourne to pursue a degree in Arts, I spent my years as a resident in countries such as Ethiopia, Zambia, Kazakhstan, Vietnam, Spain, among others. Educated solely in International Schools, the concept of multiculturalism or multilingualism has never struck me as being anything other than the norm.

What is multiculturalism? Multilingualism? How do people communicate and compromise through vast differences in background? ‘International’, the current buzzword at Monash University, as well as National University of Singapore, resonates strongly – yet I haven’t until recently given these questions serious thought.

Not only was my upbringing a mosaic of worlds, but my home life, too, was spent negotiating cultural barriers and boundaries. Having one parent from Thailand and the other from Finland meant that even the concept of a ‘homeland’ and ‘mother-tongue’ became amorphous. What is my native tongue when I speak three languages natively and can switch with ease from one to another in the context of one conversation?

What had seemed a simple and natural part of my upbringing was given special significance in the context of a philosophy and linguistics double major. These questions about multiculturalism are gaining importance in many disciplines and fields, and linguistics is no exception. Scholars are asking questions such as: “Why do bilinguals code-switch?”; “How does the language use and psyche of a multilingual differ from that of a monolingual?” and “How do we apply this knowledge of the multilingual user to education? To society and identity? To policy?”

My interest lies in researching the rules and situations that guide multilinguals in their switch from one language to another, looking especially at emotive and strategic factors. Although Monash University is a multi-cultural setting, it forms only a micro cosmos. Singapore is a model of a successfully multi-ethnic and multi-lingual society. Starting my honours research at the National University of Singapore will be inspirational boost to my thesis, as well as further enhance the prospect of being a truly international citizen!

It is easy to see why I chose NUS. “Towards a Global Knowledge Enterprise” is an attractive slogan. To me, it shows that the university is reflecting on the deeper implications of a country with multilingualism already built into everyday norms. It goes beyond recognising a multi-ethnic community to encouraging students to think globally with the assets provided by their surroundings and upbringing. As a person striving to find ways to utilise my own background affectively, NUS seems to be a logical avenue in which to further this goal.

Political Compass

2006-07-25T12:08:00.000+10:00

What do I have in common with these three men?

Well, according to Political Compass, I'm in the same ideological region...

"The Dood" would disagree, I'm sure.

Me:

2006-07-25T03:57:00.001+10:00

I found this cool site matches your face to that of a celebrity...

...badly...

but I suppose it's entertaining.

I have used pictures my subjects have themselves placed as their display pictures on friendster.

The subjects of my experiment are:

Tenzing: Last login - 24 hours

Sidhaesh: Last login - 2 weeks

Sarinda: Last login - over 3 weeks

Myself: (The facial-feature recogniser didn't recognise the back of my head as a face, as on my profile, so I used another picture from the same photoshoot instead).

I really shouldn't have chosen those subjects for my study, though. Apart from the blatantly obvious gender re-assignment, can anyone tell me what's wrong with the big picture? Hint: Being blisfully unaware of time-frames can keep a person happy.

Break-down

2006-07-24T23:40:00.000+10:00

After the glowing references, I had a little ego-boost, obviously...

Well, that all came crashing down today when I went to discuss (for the second time) what it is that I want to write my essays on (the 10,000 words that I'm doing on top of normal assessment).

Julie was quite obviously getting a little frustrated at my influx of original ideas that had no grounding in the relevant fields of research (I'm meant to be writing on Universal Grammar - something I'm not particularly fond of and have thus not taken in very well). She said, after I was in her office for about half an hour, "Fon - all you've told me about Universal Grammar is that you don't like it."

So once again, I have reformulated the question, and will stop trying to make universal grammarians come to terms with relativism. I'm writing a 5,000 word essay based on the work of Boroditsky and Kecskes.

The question: "Is it possible to be multilingual (YES!) and what implications does this have on relativism?"

I'll be doing a little bit of exploration of how I can get Kecskes' model of a Common Underlying Concept Base to fit into Lera's account of relativism (which is essentially a Whorfian view).

As for the other 5000 words? Two essays on universal grammar... :(

Not my cup of tea... but as they say: Know thine enemy.

Anyhow - the point of all that was that I suddenly feel as though I've been in university for 2.5 years and I know nothing. Do you all feel that way sometimes?

Glowing references and a solar eclipse:)

2006-07-20T22:02:00.000+10:00

I'm in the final stages of putting together my application to go to Singapore on exchange... almost there!

Part of the process is getting references from two academic staff. I'm not technically supposed to see what they have written about me, but both of them provided me with an envelope and said "I won't seal it".

How nice:

"Fon is a very able and independent learner with intense intellectual energy and curiosity [sic]. She has shown great initiative in following her academic interests and a maturity beyond her year level. In addition to her intellectual abilities she has excellent social skills and great intercultural adaptability. Highly recommended."

"Valisa would be an excellent candidate for student exchange program. She is reliable, commited [sic] to her studies, and very enthusiastic about subjects in philosophy. She got an excellent grade and is very good in discussion. Overall, good candidate to show off Monash Undergrads abroad."

Hehehe... shamelessly promoting myself, am I? :P

This is way better than a friendster testimonial!

After a discussion with my philosophy lecturer, I found that she was trying to convince me to do philosophy honours. Since I am already planning to do linguistics honours, she said "why don't you do a combined honours?"... Erm...

Well... seems like a good plan, but the problem is that my interests in philosophy and my interests in linguistics are slightly divergent...

But more crucially, besides that, I won't have finished my major in Philosophy yet when I go off to Singapore.

But the prospect of a combined honours degree does sound exciting, so I may choose to simply stay in Melbourne and do the coursework at Monash. Besides, there's someone I don't really want to be apart from for too long :)

Well, for now, I'll just put in the application for linguistics honours abroad and see which path this semester steers me down.

On another note, for those of you interested in eclipses, here are a couple nice pictures (click on them to see more!). I bumped into a friend, Lashi, today, and he's a rare breed indeed. He likes to chase eclipses around the world!

Second warning and minor reprimand...

2006-07-18T08:57:00.000+10:00

I have once before warned my dad that if he intends to comment on my blog, he will have to do it on my blog. Not by sending me an e-mail. The justification for this, ofcourse, is that the 'blog-o-sphere' is a community by its own rights. And a community that doesn't appreciate secret dealings at that!

As this is the second warning, I shall not publish the e-mail I have received in response to my previous blog, but I shall post my reply. A third warning will result in the publication of the e-mail :) :)

In response...

I have already mentioned in an earlier e-mail that I have no intention of being an observer. In fact, I'm a crucial part of my own research as well. Let me elaborate. I've discussed doing a thesis on code-switching and conversation analysis.

Follow the links to find out more.

Point is... I know what I want to do, and I have a clear idea. If you think that the misunderstandings are a bad thing, you are mistaken. In fact, it is precisely those misunderstandings that make this interesting as a thesis in linguistics.

It may be that linguistics has come a long way since the days that you studied it. For one, people are nowadays interested in natural data, along with all the flaws, and not necessarily in studying formal language. Linguists leave the study of formal written styles to those studying English and literature. Linguists are much more interested in the ways that people actually communicate.

If I were to do this study, I would have to spend a fair amount of time at home, as the first two to three weeks of recorded data would not be natural, as it would take all of us time to grow accustomed to being recorded. So this would be a study that would take about two months.

There is a much quoted study in this field on the dinner table conversations of a typical Jewish-American family. I can't remember the name of the study right now, but this academic found a very interesting rule in the discourse precisely because the rules were broken. The rule, for this family, in any case, was that the mother would always ask "and how was your day dear?" from everyone on the table. And this was revealed as a rule because one day she forgot to ask the 4-yr-old, who angrily responded "YOU DIDN'T ASK HOW MY DAY WAS!!!".

My study, however, would not be looking at the rules that guide discourse, but rather, at the rules that guide code-switching. I'm sure you've noticed that our dinner table conversation is more often than not consistent of three conversations, not just one. I'll talk to Mae in Thai, you in Finnish, and then we'll have spurts of English. I want to find what it is in the conversation that guides that switch of language in conversation.

On a broader level, this has practical applications in the real world where many people are competent in several languages and are able to code-switch with ease. I'm sure when it is all done, both you and Mae will find the study a quite insightful analysis of our own family life.

As far as transcripts are concerned, you don't have to worry - the privacy of the family is ofcourse the highest priority, and only a few samples from the data that are of linguistic structural interest will be used. In other words, I'm not interested in reporting on what we say around the dinner table, but rather, how we say it, and in which language.

Ok... I hope that answers some of your queries

How??

2006-07-17T19:04:00.000+10:00

Where do I begin?!

First day back at uni and my head is ALREADY exploding!!!

How to get through 12-point overload??!

*sigh*

And to make matters worse... I thought of the best idea for my honours thesis - with a little help from a PhD student I met in Brisbane. I came back and talked to Dr. Julie Bradshaw about it... and she really like the idea too... and then... my parents are not liking the idea!

I have assured them about three times already that I know what I am doing, they are trying to convince me that I am simply going to ruin my work by recording them?!

Where else can I get a pure tri-lingual code-switching environment than at my own dinner table??!

My parents haven't learned each others' languages, and that makes our dinner-conversations ideal for the study of code-switching and language contact.

I don't get it. My supervisor thinks it's a great idea, I think it's a great idea... but my parents still insist that they know more about the field of linguistics than the linguists??

I'm very confused and failing to understand the rationale behind such an explicit denial when all my life my parents have been so supportive academically :(

I guess that means I won't get to see my parents next April, either, cos I'm going to have to working on my thesis then, and if I'm not using my own resources, I'll have to be here in Melbourne studying something else... so much for that idea.

A vivid blue, and the case of the missing professor

2006-07-16T10:22:00.000+10:00

I had one of those long and impressionistic dreams last night...

The part I remember best is standing underneath the water in the ocean. The waves were strong and choppy - in fact, so strong that I saw them swallow a black car, scatter some large 'sea-monkeys' and suck some sharks into the depths. The sky was the colour of a moodswing. But under the water, the sea was a dark, yet clear blue, like an electric shock.

I was standing next to this underwater cliff, the edge of an abyss wall that spanned as far as the eye could see. And at the bottom of this cliff was a Meditterranean-looking ruin. It wasn't too far and I could swim down and almost touch the artefacts, the underwater walls - beautifully intact. Yet there was something scary about being there alone. Perhaps I had found Atlantis?

All this while I had in the back of my mind that earlier in the dream I had been taking lessons of some sort in a classroom that was part of a beautiful city, but the professor didn't show up for a lesson. We were all aware that she was of bad health, and when we reported her missing, someone rang a bell of alarm in the middle of the warm city, and everyone came out to search for her.

But then I was standing on the edge of that abyss, I mentioned earlier, and wondering which honoured teacher it was that had gone missing. People even came to ask me: "Is it...?", "Is it....?" and I couldn't remember who had disappeared or even a single identifying feature, except that that person was a professor.

And then I was alone again.

*** *** ***

I'm back in Melbourne... back at work... back with my Daeshy (... he cooked a beautiful dinner last night)

Perhaps last night would have been perfect had I not felt the entire time that something was just slightly off...

And I couldn't put my finger on it until this morning.

No matter how big the surprise, the sorry, the compensation is...

It's those simple little things that count, not the big fancy glosses.

A promise is a promise...

But I'm not angry... I just need to write, and to get it out of my system, and be rid of this stupid sense of disappointment that I only momentarily managed to shake off last night.

Almost over...

2006-07-14T09:28:00.000+10:00

I'm in my last day of classes at the ALI2006 course. *sigh*... then back to Melbourne, back to work, back to uni... but I *do* get to see my Daeshy (miss him!)... so it's all good.

Had a good long chat with Sachin last night though, after a nice dinner at this place called Southern Spice... some really nice iddly, eggplant pakora, vara, masala dosai, and... what was the other thing we had??...

oh, well... after that, went back to powerhouse, where I went with Gerald last week. I really like that phrase, bar/art centre, converted from an old powerplant. Love it!

When will we meet again? I'll miss you!

Flowers outside Powerhouse

Spark Bar in Powerhouse

Inside the old powerstation

Some illumination?

p.s. Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog... and I lost all my comments from before as a result :(... but otherwise it's cool :)

Results OUT!

2006-07-13T09:38:00.000+10:00

Here's a few pictures from this last week. A quick note before I get comments: I have been in the ALI course, as well as the conference from about 9-5 EVERY DAY since I've been to QLD.

I know my dad once commented that I seem to be doing nothing but going out when I once posted pictures of me having fun... so just a line in defence... Everyone deserves to relax, right?

Gerald: a very fun person, doesn't know how to drive on the correct side of the road. This was last Friday night after the ALAA conference dinner. You'll be missed!

The following pictures are from last night, when Sachin, Jonathan, Aung Si and I went for dinner at JaZ restaurant... although the pictures are from Mt. Cootha.

~~Sunny Brisbane~~

On another note:

I thought since mid-sem that I would be getting somewhere in the '60s' or 'Credit' or 'C' for 'Phonetics and Phonology' and for 'Topics in Indian Philosophy', but I got my results last night and I'm psyched!

Not bad... if I may say so myself. (By the way 'HD' is 'A' and 'D' is 'B', for those of you unfamiliar with the Australian system :)

In Brisbane

2006-07-11T14:49:00.000+10:00

People seem to think that just cos I'm in Brisbane I've dropped off the edge of the earth.

Well, I'm here.

And I AM reading YOUR blogs, but not responding cos well... I'm actually in class right now (joys of wireless) and trying to kinda concentrate (but falling asleep anyhow).

Oh, well.

Have fun on your last week or two before uni starts again :)

Brisbane...

2006-07-05T00:29:00.000+10:00

Tommorrow morning things are going to start getting hectic... the busy times will begine and I won't get a break until April 2007... yep, going to Brisbane, conference, course, then crazy amounts of assessment!

*sigh*

Here goes...!

3 + 20 +10 (live, love, dream)

2006-07-01T14:01:00.000+10:00

I stole this tag off dreaming-neko...

20 years ago (1986 - age 2.5):
-i lived in Finland with my family after coming there from my Aunt's care in Bangkok.
-i loved absolutely everyone
-i dreamed about the ghosts in cupboards, and thought (?) they were real...

15 years ago (1991 - age 8):
-i lived in Lusaka, Zambia, after a while in Ethiopia.
-i loved my dogs and had a huge crush on a boy called Adam.
-i dreamed a about a farm with lots of ghosts and a mass grave.

10 years ago (1996 - age 13):
-i lived in Almaty, Kazakhstan
-i loved Pepper (my dog), and went on a couple dates with Ilias (the mayor's son).
-i dreamed about a girl watching cockroaches climb a wall

5 years ago (2001 - age 18):
-i lived in Helsinki, alone for the 4th year, and had almost killed myself several times
-i loved nobody because I'd lost everyone (including Pepper, who was poisoned when we went to Vietnam together)
-i was dreaming very little

3 years ago (2003 - age 20):
-i lived Barcelona still in the beginning of the year, and came to Bangkok for the second half.
-i loved everybody again, and found those who I'd lost
-i dreamed of finding my lost dreams

last year (2005 - age 22):
-i lived in Melbourne, studying at university
-i loved Sid, and then I pushed him away by the end of the year
-i dreamed of waiting for my dreams to stop fluttering around like mad

this year (2006 - age 23):
-i lived in Melbourne
-i loved Sid, still, and found him again
-i dreamed about stability

yesterday (june 30, 2006):
-i lived with my best buddy Sarinda, as I have done since the beginning of the year
-i loved the gym a bit too much and now have sore muscles
-i dreamed about making it to PhD(!)

last night (june 30, 2006):
-i lived on the edge
-i loved the "Super-Bobo" outfit...
-i dreamed of being more careful so that I don't fall off the edge again

today (july 1, 2006):
-i live to tell the tale
-i love my Daeshy to death
-i dream about trust

tomorrow (july 2, 2006):
-i'll live ...
-i'll love ...
-i'll dream (hopefully)...

next year (2007 - age 24):
-i'll live in my birthyear - year of the pig!
-i'll love my honours thesis
-i'll dream of a life with Sid

5-10 years from now (2011-2016 - age 28-33):
-i'll live as a graduate, struggling with my degree
-i'll love ... you, who else?
-i'll dream of a house with lots of cupboards

two squared

2006-07-01T09:47:00.000+10:00

This is yet another tag I stole off dreaming-neko

four jobs i have had in my life:
-nanny
-waitress
-model
-translator

four movies i could watch over and over:
-aladdin
-robin hood: men in tights
-amelie
-last life in the universe

four places i have lived:
-adis ababa, ethiopia
-lusaka, zambia
-almaty, kazakhstan
-hanoi, vietnam

four TV shows i love/loved to watch:
-don't watch tv
-don't watch tv
-don't watch tv
-don't watch tv

four places i have been on vacation:
-cape town, south africa
-skeleton coast, namibia
-monaco, monte carlo
-new york, new york

four websites i look at daily:
-mine, and other bloggers' sites
-gmail.com
-google.com
-nationmultimedia.com

four of my favorite foods
-green-tea red-bean buns
-vegetarian mockfish in sour-spicy curry sauce (my own recipe)
-kappa maki
-durian or mango sorbet

four jobs i would really stink at:
-cab/bus -driver (i'm always lost)
-police officer (i'm easily distracted)
-gangster (i trust everyone!)
-singer/performer (i don't have the patience to practice every day)

four pretend nicknames i’ll NEVER live up to:
-'funny'
-'tall'
-'dam' ('black' in thai - not offensive!)
-'fifi'

four movies i will NEVER watch again, ever:
-most movies aren't worth watching again
-especially movies about teenagers doing stupid things
-and movies with the 'america saves the day' idea
-remakes of books tend to suck, too, especially if you've read the book!

four places that i would NEVER live in:
-the office
-an old building with ghosts
-isolation
-my own head (that's the scariest place i know)

four things i HATE to do on my weekends:
-sleep too much
-overeat
-have a hang-over
-cry

four TV shows i used to geek out to:
(see above)

four liquor brands I’ve tried and enjoyed:
-malibu
-sang som
-jw green lable
-drambuie
(on the list for golden-week)

four things i CAN live without:
-animal products
-suffering
-prejudice
-war

four of my favorite cholesterol laden foods:
-coffee
-coconut milk
-hmmm... I'm vegan, so hard to say...
-any suggestions?

four places i would rather be in right NOW:
-singapore, with my Daeshy
-bangkok, with my little nephews and niece
-helsinki, with my parents
-but i'd rather live for the moment, so i'm happy here

Should stop being such a drama queen...

2006-06-29T01:35:00.000+10:00

For all the people that were worried when they read my previous blog: Thanks for your concern and ... SORRY SORRY SORRY for making you worried... it's just me being dramatic.

Here's the deal... I'm just stressed, so thus I get edgy (Dood knows all about it!) and then I get into fights more easily and then I feel bad about myself for being argumentative and then I cry...

Seriously isn't anything to worry about. I'll probably be like this until I finish with all the crazy amounts of assessment I have to do before September, then November, then February!

No major crisis to report... Over and out!

*** *** ***

Yesterday went and saw Oliver Twist with Tenzing and Sarinda in the impossibly small cinema nova... oh, well, we were sitting one row from the screen, which is probably a good thing since it's so tiny!

After movie and dinner, 'the boys' walked me to work... hehehe, and ofcourse, being with two dark, tall and handsome young men, I had to make a scene and give them both a big hug before going to work!

Then Cristelle (my colleague) goes "Fon - how come you are with two boys when your boyfriend is out of town?"

Fon: "Their my best buddies!"

Marie (my manager): "Yeah - RIGHT!"

[Peals of laughter]

Erm, well, not that that was particularly funny, it's just that we seem to laugh at just about everything at Spaghetti Tree... really great place to work in :)

I've taken to calling all the guys in the kitchen "Sayang", so now they all call me "Darling"... But yeah - all good fun, and we are always laughing...

I was thinking of maybe turning the restaurant into an honours thesis, because I think the style of discourse practiced in the setting is unique, and clearly patterned. I've noticed it in other places I've worked in as well. Everyone has one style of speech when they talk to the customers, another two styles when they talk to the kitchen (one for orders, the other for fun).

There's a lot going on - There's kitchen-kitchen fun/work, there's waiter-waiter fun/work, there's waiter-kitchen fun/work, manager-kitchen, manager-waiter fun/work.

All different styles... That's 10 altogether! Oh yeah, there's also waiter-client discourse rules ("in a rush", "time to chat", "unhappy client", "flirty client")... lots of discursive rules.

What makes it more interesting is that there is also the multilingual setting of the Spaghetti Tree - there are a lot of Indo's around, but then there are other language groups as well, and we use English as the medium of communication - except for the kitchen, who speak to each other in Indo.

What more can I ask for as a setting for ethnographic linguistic work?

This week's stats:

2006-06-25T13:28:00.000+10:00

Today's Sunday... so counting today:

Night's I've worked: 6

Pages I've read in Kecskes' book: 104

Days until I go to QLD: 11

Nights I had an unecessary argument: 2

Friends I've caught up with one-to-one: 6

Nights I've cried myself to sleep: 3

... busy busy busy!

A few minutes with Adbusters.org

2006-06-23T11:20:00.000+10:00

Ok... I bought the adbusters magazine, which I've been reading on and off for a while, and took it to work the other day, and ended up having to explain the whole concept of 'adbusting' to my colleagues. Incase any of you are bewildered by this concept, here are a few images from their website:

Also, here is a local variant from election time (in Australia) 2004:

Dishearteningly quiet...

2006-06-22T12:37:00.000+10:00

It's almost as though the Thai media is simply not equipped to dealing with news of violence... Why is it that I feel there has been a considerable amount of failure to report facts or even search for them in the Thai news? Everything seems to be reported vaguely behind 'opinion pieces', with some quoting 40 bombs, some quoting 50 that went off last Thursday. What's the deal? Why the mixed reports? The silence? So how many people died? How many were injured? I'm sick of these mixed reports!

It's as though the majority of the people are more interested in sweeping the conflict under the carpet than actually dealing with it. When one incident occurs, like the one where the school teacher was beaten into a coma, it recurs in the news like a plague. I guess that's only human nature - when we find one piece of dust, we use it as an example to show our guests how otherwise spotlessly clean the house is... when they peer into the cupboards and a huge pile of dirty dishes comes tumbling out, we can't really offer much in the way of explanation. Our embarrassed faces say it all...

So much in the same way, the government, the media and the people seem to be embarrassed by the mess we've made in the South, and our stuttering comments on this violent incident reveals all!

*** *** ***

Yesterday was my grandfather's 90th birthday :) Happy Birthday Vaari! I called him but I don't think he could really hear me... My manager was really nice. I'd asked her specifically to get a break around 9 so that I could call him... no worries there :)

*** **** ****

Feeling like there is something severely missing... *sigh*

And sick, too. No good :(

Feeling drained. Had to change my undergrad plan again because of clashes, and now I'm not doing the courses that I really want to do. All because of one compulsory course on Aboriginal Languages! If I had decided to take my time about graduating, then my compulsory course would have been 'Syntax', which I'm slightly less disdainful about. But hey, if I want to hurry it along, I guess I've got to make some compromises...

*sigh*

In response...

2006-06-18T04:54:00.000+10:00

'Ateegoy's post, "A not-so-funny-issue" today touched one of my most delicate heartstrings... the issue of discrimination.

Atee, girl, I really feel you. One's religion, ethnicity, and language are always close to one's heart. A temple is a symbol of one's religion, community a manifestation of the ethnicity, and schools (hopefully) a practicing place for one's language.

When one's temple is destroyed, it's not that physical place that claws at your heart when you see it reduced to rubble. It's the fact the somebody didn't see you as a valid person. Somebody didn't think that your religion mattered, and somebody didn't respect your background.

"Your in our country", they say, "you have to adapt our ways. What you believe is not important. Go back to where your forefathers came from if it's so dear!"

But is that place not your home now too? What is it that made that place ok for your grandfather, but now shuns you?

Let's face it - a missing building permit - no matter how important it was - is nothing but a pretext... are they asking the members of the dominant religion for the building permits?

The truly sad thing is knowing that with 'modern thinking' we are meant to be more open minded, and yet... *sigh* there are still governments that are clinging to the ideal of a homogenous nation state even when it is clear that such an ideal entails religious, linguistic and cultural genocide!

Each and every country in the world is multicultural (with the exception, maybe, of homogenous Iceland), and that is manifested in the existence of different languages, cultures and religions in each country. The sad thing is that almost every country bullies the minorities under various pretexts... Your neighbours in Thailand, Atee, bully the Islamic minority in Pattani, Yala and Narathiwat by telling them their culture and religion do not fit into the "Thai" concept. The Finns disregard the heritage of the Lapps (a.k.a. the Sami people) by not recognising them as anything else but 'indigenous Finns'. Sri Lanka is marginalising the Tamil population in the country. The Americans are trying to implement an "English Only" policy in the US to prevent the Spanish from gaining any prestige. Aboriginals in Australia are treated as a social phenomenon, rather than as the rightful owners of the land (despite what policy may say). The list is endless, and controversial. And let's face it... hearts are broken every day...

Atee: I'm so sad to hear of your temples being destroyed. I'm hanging my head in shame, too, at belonging to this race of creatures that cannot see beyond power dynamic. How blind we all are!

Numerous studies in psychology, sociology, politics, linguistics, etc., show that as creatures in homogenous environments, we are close-minded, and perform not-so-well in cognitive and analytical tasks. Learning about other cultures (usually by learning a foreign language) broadens ones perspectives, and in makes one better at cognitive tasks (just ask me for the references, and I can give you a host of research that shows this!).

And yet, we are endangering hundreds of cultures in the world with nationalistic policies that seek to "unify" people under the banner of "One nation, One culture" What a load of bullshit! The antagonised don't just go "Oh, ok, you don't like us? Sorry, we'll just put a stop to our own ways and start using yours." They fight. We all fight when we're up against the wall!

Just this past Thursday, 44 bombs went off in Southern Thailand. That's what happens... it's not the fault of the minorities, but the manifestation of the wrongdoings of the dominant culture.

Majority groups! What is it that you need to prove so badly?! Why all of this jealousy and hatred?

This may seem like a strange quote, but it fits:

"Do you hate them 'cos they're pieces of you?"

- Jewel

Why is it that the elephant is so afraid of the mouse?

Will be MIA henceforth

2006-06-15T17:28:00.000+10:00

The crap just keeps piling on!

Ok, so I'm doing a 12-point (ie, 2 unit) overload (so 72 credit points instead of 48) next semester. If that's not hectic enough, when I'm done with that, I'll be doing the two philosophy units over summer, as I mentioned in my previous post... but THEN, the semester in Singapore begins on the second Monday of January, whereas the summer semester exams are in February. So I'm going to be doing my exams in Singapore, one month into my honours program there!

The strange thing is that I'll have started my honours before technically graduating! Strange, but true. I've talked to all the relevant faculty people and worked it all out.

That means, anyhow, with the amount of work I'm due to complete between now and when I return from Singapore, I shall officially have no life, so no socialising for me until April 2007. That's just the way it is. Sorry Melbourne friends.

The plus side of all this is that I shall have two extra months to complete my thesis because of how early the semester ends in Singapore, so I'll get a chance to relax then!

So if you need anything, please call, but I'm not going ANYWHERE except uni, gym and work from now on. Visits at home are still welcome, though :)

Also... on skype now, so add me: valisa.fon

Isa: I posted my last philosophy essay on-line just now, even though I was meant to do it ages ago, in case you or Mae wanted to read it (it came back with a 'distinction' grade)

Lesson 1: Don't bluff

2006-06-14T19:15:00.000+10:00

In my last post, I said "Final Year? Bring it on!"

I didn't mean compressed into 1 semester!!

Holy S***!!!!

The assessment I have to do for ALI is worth two units, not one, as I had previously thought. Plus, I have to be enrolled full time. So I'll have completed my linguistics major by the end of next semester, which leaves me with 2 philosophy units, which I can do over summer.

Oh my god, I'm going to DIE!

But I'll be graduating on time, hopefully...

Stamped!

2006-06-14T00:26:00.002+10:00

It's only now that the first academic stamp is drawing nearer that I'm realising how much more I can do with my university experience in terms of learning.

I can, ofcourse, get through my course with flying colours if I just stick to the program, but I also have the opportunity to network, to enrich my knowledge beyond the boundaries of Monash, and I'm going to take every opportunity I can now!

So with that in mind, I've got great news! My faculty has approved both the course that I will be doing in Queensland and my proposal for honours exchange to Singapore! Yay!

On a similar note... I'm DONE with exams for this semester... Final year? BRING IT ON!

What's annoying is that I had quite a few clashes between my Philosophy and Linguistics units, so I couldn't take exactly the units that I wanted to, but the substitutes are great, too. It seems that half the academics at Monash prefer Monday morning lectures (are they insane??!)...

But next semester is going to be tough! Essentially, I'm overloading, because I'll be doing full-time studies, plus working on the essays I have to write for my assessment of the course I would have done in Queensland. Ouch. That, plus work! Full on!

Hey, we all work better when are backs are against the wall, don't we?

Just focus...

2006-06-12T09:47:00.000+10:00

That's sometimes the toughest thing to do, isn't it? I guess I can really only do one thing at once.

I'm really looking forward to the winter break, and for very nerdy reasons...

I had to choose between NLCAC in Perth or going for a conference and taking a course in Queensland that will be (possibly) counted towards my degree. I couldn't ask my work for almost three weeks off that attending both those events would have entailed.

But yeah, the LINQ 2006 conference + ALI course will be held in University of Queensland. The conference is aimed at academics and postgraduate students, as is the program of the ALI course... but my sociolinguistics lecturer thinks I should be fine.

Keeping my fingers crossed that it'll be given to me as credit towards my degree... since I just blew ALL my savings paying for membership of the Australian Linguistics Society (ALS) and Applied Linguistics Association of Australia (ALAA), as well as conference registration and airplane tickets for Queensland!

Oh, big thanks to Sachin, who has graciously volunteered his house for my use (otherwise I'd have to pay for accommodation, too!)

Also, I'm considering going for the LTRC conference (in Melbourne), although that's already more towards the field of education...

Why now??!

2006-06-11T23:49:00.000+10:00

I've got this terrible, terrible feeling. It's a heavy hand on the inside of my chest, and it's squeezing the air out of my lungs. And it's inching towards my heart.

I want to let it go, get it out, but it's just lying there, refusing to move. There's no logic in it being there, because everything is perfect, right? Isn't it?

If I don't force it out, I'll be stuck with that illogical leaden hand with slowly scratching and inching fingers...

*** *** ***

Can't concentrate, can't sleep, keep crying, feel like bashing head against wall..., etc, etc. Why right before this exam?!

And you're probably happily doing whatever it is you are meant to be doing, having shoved it all out of your mind. I guess I envy you for that.

I hate fights...

I hate knowing that I don't have to mental strength right now to just resolve the issue, or just forget about it...

If I'm that weak, then I guess it must be my fault... that is, my fault for letting it affect my mood. Why should I let anything affect my feelings? Why should I want anything, feel anything? I have no need to be happy, sad, angry, ecstatic, nervous, hate, love, etc...

I've only got my duty to perform, right? And right now, that's to be a student.

So I should study.

There's nothing else but the Dharma, is there?

It all makes better sense that way.

And it's easier to let go...

...

Sorry about that e-mail, Daeshious.

...

Is distance really such a bad thing?

2006-05-31T18:21:00.000+10:00

I can't concentrate on my studying for tomorrow's phonetics exam at all...

Been preoccupied at the thought of the next two semesters and how tough they will be. And thinking of ways in which to minimise my workload. I was thinking of staying here over the summer holidays (in Australia, this is late November - February) and completing one philosophy course while working here instead of going back to Thailand at the end of the year. That way, in my final semester of my undergrad, I'll only have three subjects left, instead of four!

And then another thing... honours is only a year, and it's possible to do one semester overseas. I've been thinking of NUS in Singapore or Monash Malaysia (because I want to study Malay languages - a consequence of my interest in the Southern Thai conflict), for one possible path in life... Or else, going to Universidad Autonoma de Madrid, Spain or Pontifica Universidad Catolica de Chile and doing part of my degree in Spanish (and possibly aim at a UN career?)...

Anyhow, of all those, I've managed to find a department of linguistics that looks approvable for honours-level studies in NUS and in PUC

But ... that means I'll be far away, and I don't want history repeating itself. So I suppose sticking in the South-East Asia region would really be the best. How ah? I can't be in two places at the same time!

**This plan has been edited on 18 June, 2006, following a revision of the plan, and knowledge of earlier graduation**... and again on the 22nd, after discovering that some units are compulsory and clash with others...

The plan - Undergrad:

Winter holiday, 2006

Australian Linguistics Institute - course worth 12 credit points, or two units!

Semester 2, 2006

Second Language Acquisition and Attrition

Aboriginal Languages of Australia

Res Cognitans: Descartes on Mind and Knowledge

Political Philosophy

Summer, 2006-7

Science, Happiness and Death in Stoic and Epicurean Philosophy

Space, Time and Deity: themes from Leibniz and Hume

The plan - Honours

Semester 1, 2007

Linguistics Study Abroad Program

Semester 2, 2007

Minor Thesis (16,000 words!!)

Dood!

2006-05-29T18:57:00.000+10:00

The Dood sent me a funny video of a comedian doing a really great Bush-impersonation... Check it out!

I got my sociolinguistics essay back today with an HD! Woohoo!!! (Dood, the washing machine celebrates with us :P) and a glowing comment:

Excellent research and a well constructed argument, beautifully written.

She was also telling me after class that I really should do honours with her and that she thinks that I should be able to go straight into a PhD after it. I told her I'm graduating mid-year next year, though, and would have to wait around half a year for the honours program, and she said that wouldn't be a problem... Sorted!

Yay!

And yeah, to top off a good day at uni, I finally cleared things up with the MUISS people :)

2 new posts in philosophical writing

2006-05-26T08:59:00.000+10:00

I got one philosophy expository (about the doctrine of Anatta) back yesterday with an HD (Yay!), so I've posted it here.

My previous expository (a comparison between Hinduism and Buddhism with some explanation of Karmic theory) only got a credit :(, but keeping to tradition, that is also online.

Right now I'm working on my final philosophy essay, which I shall post after I've handed it in.

Also, on Tuesday, I handed in my sociolinguistics research essay, which I felt was too rushed in the end and didn't finish very strongly, but I've posted it in my social commentary blog nonetheless (It's called Educational reform in Southern Thailand - A Sociolinguistic Look). The background for this essay was a 'media scrapbook' (also an HD!!).

None of my other work this semester is worth posting, trust me... unless anyone is interested in phonetic transcription, acoustic analysis and phonological rules of sound change (very very very boring)

Must not call

2006-05-22T18:22:00.000+10:00

So worried, and keep telling myself not to pick up the phone cos it's better that way *sigh*

Breathe in... it's all fine... breathe out, don't panic

There are two 3,000 word essays and 4.5 hours worth of minutes (equivalent to 9 hours of work!) to do before too long...

And I'm worrying about a person instead and eating lots of popcorn cos it makes me feel better...

Aaarrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!

You're laughing

2006-05-21T12:13:00.000+10:00

I feel so stupid for falling for such a stupid trick - the oldest trick in the book, yet angrier that someone I think of as a friend would manipulate me like that...

I dreamt I was walking alone, talking to everyone I met, but keeping a safe distance. Why? Because attachments are illusions, and each life lasts only as long as a thought.

In that dream, I was neither happy nor sad. I just was. It was a very peaceful dream.

Which goes to show - nobody can bring you happiness but yourself. It's all in the mind, and there's no mind you can know but your own.

emergency number?

2006-05-18T20:11:00.000+10:00

You know, in the past month we've had the police over twice... The 'D' is getting good at calling the cops, and I still have no idea what the emergency number in Australia is... I reckon we should find out soon...

Before you, my good readers (i.e., mom and dad), freak out, no, the house wasn't burning down, and murderers were not trying to break in.

The first time we raised the alarms was because of the wind... hehe... 'D' had left the balcony door open whilst cooking on a very windy day, and it had blown open the hatch on the roof of the bathroom.

I came home, took a shower, and saw that the hatch was open...

I asked 'D' whether he'd tried to get to the roof, which he claimed he hadn't done. So we thought... maybe somebody had tried to break in.

Well, needless to say, we felt pretty stupid when we figured it out... but I was freaked out for days afterwards with just the *thought* that what if someone was spying on me in the shower...

That caused a couple funny incidents to follow... I didn't know 'D' was home, and I heard some noise in the bathroom. I don't know what I was thinking, but I decided to storm in and see what it was. And there he was, my housemate, very calmly shaving. I screamed. I think 'D' was more than a little bemused.

During the night when the cops were there, we had some fun at their expense, too... hehehe...

We wanted to know if we could get them to take off their shoes in the house, so we put up a sign near our door while we were waiting for them to arrive - "Please remove your shoes". So, ofcourse, they did not take off their shoes, and stomped all over the carpet with them. The very strange thing was, however, that the cop that was going to check out the hatch had to stand on the washing machine to get near the roof... and he asked for newspaper so that he wouldn't get shoe-prints on the washing machine!! ??!!

... and last night the cops were over again... this time because of an incident concerning a disgruntled student... won't get into the details of that one. This time the cops left their flashlight accidentally and 'D' called the emergency line again to report it! Bwahahahaha!

Anyhow... can someone please tell me what the Australian emergency number is?

On another note - seems I don't have to feel TOO bad about myself, although I know there are quite a few people who are angry with my right now... or maybe I'm no answering the questions right... but this is how another one of my procrastinating efforts at quizzing came out:

Greed:	Very Low
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	Very Low
Sloth:	Low
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Low
Pride:	Medium

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

photoshoot

2006-05-12T03:34:00.000+10:00

A balance?

2006-05-08T22:43:00.000+10:00

Been working for a week now... *phew*

It's good to work though... have more incentive to save :)

I stopped getting the small scholarship I was getting from Finland, so gotta support myself a little more...

By the way, since I know you read this - Isa and Mae - just thought I'd let you know that it's ok, I'm balancing my time. I quit all my extra-curricular involvements (Student Union stuff) so that I'm not spending too much time at non-academic pursuits.

Australia is more expensive than you'd think!

I'm enjoying the restaurant I'm working at (it's on Bourke street) - nice, chilled out attitude, very friendly co-workers, approachable boss :) (except ... upstairs... hmmm...)

For a while I was living my life a week ahead of myself because I seriously thought we are a week ahead of the time we are really in (means I did my assignments well in advance!! Yay!)... I really lose track of the time when it gets to this time of the year.

Procrastinating again... I really should be doing my assignment! ;P

Missing you...

2006-05-06T13:05:00.000+10:00

Haven't seen you since...

Since ...

I started my new job... since last Sunday I haven't seen you... or have I? My memory is shocking. Did I see you Tuesday night? I don't know, it just seems too long ago somehow. I DID see you Tuesday.

But, I miss you, and I don't want to pick up the phone and call you because I'm afraid you'll be too busy to talk to me, or angry with me because I was out last night...

*sigh*

***edit***

There's a f***ing spy network out to get me... I can't miss people I care about, and go about my own musings without people getting all offended...

I'M NOT a structured person. I change my mind every three seconds... and I don't mean things that I write or say to hurt anyone. Things I say and do are true in that moment, and nothing is the same over an extended period of time...

As Bhante Nagasena said:
"A life lasts only as long as a thought lasts"

Everything is true only for a moment.... and semblance of continuiety is but an illusion brought on by a quick succession of moments....

Each moment is true... but what is also true is that there is no past, no future...

Just like a sound comes from a flute - from nothing - and fades away - as nothing. Nothing exists except for this moment.

Kindred spirit - the god of dreams

2006-05-02T17:36:00.000+10:00

Did quiz instead of working/studying...

Which of the Greek Gods Are You?

Full Fare is NOT FARE!

2006-04-30T01:05:00.000+10:00

Great effort on the part of Melbourne Uni at organising the rally! Here are a few pictures!

Four phrases

2006-04-26T13:03:00.000+10:00

I was just looking through friends' blogs instead of doing my assignment ... (oops)... and I came across Wei Han's thoughts on four phrases that can really hurt a person. And I must say, when coupled with the right situation and tone, as he mentions, it's right!

I hate you.

You are very irritating.

Stop bugging me (as opposed to 'don't bug me').

I don't trust you.

I'm guilty of using the last one, albeit in the modified form of 'How can I trust you after that?' on several occasions. I'm sorry to those I've hurt, and I'll try not to use that one again.

I had the second one used on me a couple weeks ago by a close friend... I cried for hours! So it's true, it does hurt a lot!

Ofcourse, everything is fine now... hurt is just a fleeting thing... it passes and I don't need to worry about it anymore. Hopefully, soon, I should stop allowing attacks on my person to hurt me. After all, when people say those kinds of things, they often don't really mean them. Once I can understand that, then I should just feel compassion for a person who is hurt themselves and is thus saying that kind of thing as a defense... but I guess I'm still a far way away from that.

I'm also still far away from completing my assignment... so I better get back to that!

Third Culture Kids

2006-04-25T23:40:00.000+10:00

Thanks to 'dreaming-neko' and 'anonymous' for their comments on my previous post.

A Third Culture Kid is:

"[A] person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture. The third culture kid builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the third culture kid's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of the same background." (Pollock & van Reken, 2001, p. 19)

full information here

Unfortunately, I have not been able to many people of a similar background to me, because even though some share the same background, the countries they have lived in will have been entirely different! The ones that did share *some* of the same countries tend to be rare, because my dad chose some pretty obscure countries to live in!

Also, a factor is that most often, those who've been uprooted like me haven't had a 'multicultural setting' within the home, too. As I recall, in all of the int'l schools I've been to, I've generally been the only 'mixed' person in my class.

And strangely enough, it seems that the people I've identified most with are people of South-Asian backgrounds! Strange, but true, considering I've never lived in a South Asian country and only passed through the airport in India, and spent three days in transit in Pakistan!

Apparently, though, my mom was first alerted in a dream to my 'presence' in her tummy whilst in Bangladesh... So perhaps I exist as a result of a transmigration of consciousness from a Bangladeshi to my mother's womb. Who knows?

*****

Ok, that aside...

Today is Tenzing's birthday... so HAPPY BIRTHDAY GURKHA!!!

A couple of the pictures below are from his party on Saturday the 22nd, whilst the other three are from the dinner we just had tonight as the "True Friends Squad" (Tenzing's idea - stands for T.F.S can also stand for Tenzing Fon Sarinda!)

Me and Sarinda decided to get him a dogtag engraved with "True Friends Squad - Tenzing Fon Sarinda". We hid it in a box of skittles and pretended like that was our birthday present to him! It was good... we had a laugh!

*****

It was also Noreen's birthday yesterday... I wished her early at Tenzing's party, then wished her again today, a day late! Ooops... Forgot to wish her yesterday! Noreen was staying on our couch for over a month before she finally found a place to stay - poor girl! Had to travel so far to get to Swinburne University every morning!

Anyhow, Happy Birthday (belated!)!

It was also Nora's birthday last Sunday (a week ago - had an interesting time together - won't be going out for that wild a time out again for a long time!!) She's "third culture kid" like me, and shares my Finnish half... she seems to be just as uprooted as I am, and that's definitely something we have in common...

*****

Finally, because I haven't blogged in a while, I'd like to thank everyone who made it to my party the Saturday before last! We definitely had a blast... but now it's definitely time to settle back into uni-life and stress after a hectic (yet relaxing!) Easter break!

multicultural or rootless?

2006-04-13T00:37:00.000+10:00

I've been feeling down again, despite having my best friend constantly supporting me.

We came to a conclusion that the reason for my feeling of 'not belonging' anywhere is a direct result of being uprooted all throughout my life. The 'not belonging' applies not only to cultural roots, but also to social groups. I've not only been uprooted from countries, but uprooted from friends all my life.

The implication is that I just can't bring myself to become close to anyone truly.

Ofcourse, the clear plus side is that I TRULY understand and can cope with the fact that all things are transient, almost to a farcical extreme... I can't bring myself to believe that anything is permanent!

And naturally, that means that I have trouble with the concept of the people around me being permanent.

Whatever,... I think the conclusion is that I really should seek counselling!!! :P

Team building camp

2006-04-07T14:51:00.000+10:00

I'm off for the weekend to train the newbies...

The attitude of the new team has been slightly disappointing so far... I mean, what's with it?

We're talking about attending a team-building camp, and people are sitting there talking about themselves, asking why they have to attend!

If you ask me, the very fact that all they are thinking of are themselves is that context already shows clearly that they are heavily in need to a team-building experience!

Anyhow, will miss LaTrobe boys this weekend :( and any partying involved

Will miss all other people not coming along... and will be very difficult to contact, too!

Wireless ARTS!!

2006-04-04T15:31:00.000+10:00

This is my third year at Monash... and FINALLY, wireless works in the Menzies (Arts) building!!! I'm on the 4th floor in my linguistics tute, utterly bored... and YES! I can connect to the internet!

And here I was thinking that the faculty would never catch up to technology... Now, bored arts students can msn during tutes that require attendance :)

Some things are beautiful...

2006-04-02T01:08:00.000+11:00

...but just as there are silver linings to dark clouds, the opposite applies...

This week has been a confusing amalgamation of the negative and the positive, but as long as I focus on just smiling and being happy, well... there really are no substantial problems.

All things work out for the best. There are a million problems in the world that are worse than mine. And in the end, I truly believe that as long as one has food to eat and a roof over one's head, then 'a problem' is really just a matter of attitude and perception.

I have my basic necessities, and in addition to that, I've got the opportunity to pursue knowledge - knowledge of life, academic knowledge, knowledge of love.

What more can a person ask for in this life?

WAYN

2006-03-12T21:19:00.000+11:00

Someone invited me to join the WAYN network... and man, it's addictive!

WAYN is an acronym for "Where Are You Now?" and basically, you can fill in all the places you've ever visited in your life on that site. Anyone who knows me would know I have A LOT to fill in! I've been working on it for about an hour and I've still got so many places to add (and that's without uploading photos and stuff!). Sign up and add me!

www.wayn.com

My username is fonfonvk

Anyhow, yeah, try it out! I'm going to get back to preparing my presentation for Tuesday now :)

Back to school, again

2006-02-27T14:41:00.000+11:00

I've decided to become Fon, Super-geek.

My life now consists of philosophy books, english lit., drama, linguistics (4 uni subjects) and video-games (to relax).

Forget late nights out (ok, maybe once in a blue moon).
Forget crazy forays into the unknown.
Forget skipping classes.

I've got 1.5 years to get my average up from 73% to 80%. I have to do this in 12 subjects.

It means I must not only get straight HDs, but that they will have to all be HDs scoring 86% or above, on average. Can I pull this off?

It will be a hell of a lot of work, but I think I can do it.

Atleast I need my average to become above 75% if I want to do my masters. But I'm aiming for 80%

Here's keeping my fingers crossed xxxx

Been a busy week :P

2006-02-10T04:06:00.000+11:00

The time is nearing... to go back to Australia!

I've been feeling confused about whether I should be happy or sad.

I'm happy because I'll get to spend time with people I want to spend time with.

I'm sad because I won't get to spend time with people I want to spend time with.

*sigh*

No winning, right?

So I've spent this week spending time with and taking pictures of people I won't get to spend time with later...

Ok... except for P'Oad, P'Fon and P'Dee. P'Oad doesn't like being photographed... P'Fon comes along with P'Oad (being his gf), and my battery was out of juice on Tuesday, so I didn't get to take any pictures when I went out with P'Dee...

Erm, so have I really taken any photographs of anyone but myself?

Good question.

I've also finally gotten a new laptop :)

What did I change?

1. Downloaded PICASA2 and got rid of ACDSee8
2. Installed Adobe Creative Suite
3. Downloaded Mozilla Firefox (and dammit, can't uninstall IE!)

Finally, I'm not using my brother's com and I feel like I can modify the programs to my liking :)

Right now I'm too lazy to upload the photos I mentioned... probably won't bother. Will start uploading again once I get back to Melbourne...

Hello Kitty Blog!!!

2006-02-04T00:19:00.000+11:00

Hello Kitty is a Blogger!!

Ok... this excites me... not because she blogs (I can't understand it anyhow - it's in Japanese)... But because I want that job!!

If Doraemon were to become a blogger... that would rock... or maybe Badz Badz Maru?

Ding-dong!

2006-02-02T21:18:00.000+11:00

I've been having one of those crazy mood-swingy over-sensitive days again... *sigh*

With absolutely no intelligible (except in my own head) reason, I started crying... much to the shock of the company I was in (Kan, again!). Oh, well... what to do, eh?

But on a brighter note.... I DID practice driving a bit again today... and I did spend time with a very very dear friend... And took sticker pictures!

So.... things are not at all bad! Silly Fon!

sad things....

2006-01-31T23:57:00.000+11:00

To someone I was chatting with earlier today (and who I think doesn't read my blog anyhow):

If you want to love someone, you should say it before it's too late... and even if that person doesn't want to love you, you've lost nothing by being honest.

One thing I can't understand, though, is a bitter heart. Why would you hate me because I can't love you?

Enough said... negative vibes... sensing them and not liking them. Let's get back to being friends soon!

Pictures with my best friend should cheer me up! She kisses me a lot!!!

Plus... I got a new watch today!!

Super Kitsch @ Co-Cue

2006-01-31T03:28:00.000+11:00

A clothes store? Well... super cool clothes there, indeed... but hidden away on the second floor is a rickety old chair and a old dresser... and a super-talented Hong Kong scissors-man!

It all began when P'Sally said her old friend Amos was coming back from Hawaii after a long stint there... and he was willing to shear peoples' hair!

I think I lost about half of my hair ... but I'm loving the new style!

Before

After

Kan is shocked... but...

....P'Sally and I are happy!

Totally cool!

2006-01-30T05:42:00.000+11:00

Can't wait to get back to Melbourne...

On certain recommendations, I am to move closer to campus... which totally ROCKS, because I'll be moving in with none other than my darling best friend, Sarinda! I hear the place also has a swimming pool (which will serve as a good place to dump drunk friends in the winter months).

It will TOTALLY rock living with him! We had a rather happy exchange of e-mails a whie back:

Sarinda: What will the neighbours think with two hotties living in the same house?

Fon: And not only that, but they both are not available and NOT seeing each other! They'll be flabberghasted!

*** *** ***

Oh and Sarinda.... just so you know... "There's a really hot Sri Lankan guy living there" is NOT something that convinced me to come and stay there, you egotistical b****!

For anyone who is waiting for a drink with the "ex-Queen", please note that I shall be back in Melbourne somewhere between the 10th and the 15th...

The original plan was to return on the 15th, but there are various factors, from MUISS to 'a top-secret flight mission' that are drawing me back earlier!

Anyhow, now that I'm going to be living closer to 'the community', I've decided that I will start having a regular weekly Tuesday or Thursday night dinner, for anyone who wants to come over (bring your own drinks, though!) and relax (and be dunked in the pool).

We'll see how that works out....

Aside from feeling as if I've been on holiday long enough already, I AM really enjoying myself here. Family is always good to have around, and watching the kiddies grow is amazing!

I've been spending a lot of time in Suan Luang, too... here's a pic, took it myself!

Some pics

2006-01-22T15:58:00.000+11:00

Tham Boon Khuen Barn- religious housewarming

2006-01-22T13:38:00.000+11:00

It's been a while since I've been blogging... been going around the country - first to Koh Samet, then to Chiang Mai with my mother. It's great... she's not exactly young, but she'll live long, because she has such a young spirit, and such a young way of doing things!

Just got back yesterday really early in the morning, and spent the day with Kan (we sent his sister to Polo, took a walk in the park, saw "Khao Niaow Moo Ping", and went shopping for today's "religious housewarming")

So today is going to be a busy day... I woke up at seven to make "Kaeng Jued" and "Hed Horm Pad" for the monk who will be visiting the house today. It's been two years since my brother's family finished building this house and moved in, and today they are finally having it 'blessed'... Thus, I have dubbed this event a religious housewarming.

After this, there is going to be a party here - but not a housewarming... Indy, Inc and P'Kuu's joint birthday party! I'll get to take a lot of pics with the kids!

I'll have lots of pics to upload later on!

A challenge...

2006-01-13T07:32:00.000+11:00

I asked for help brainstorming and I got help - we'll work on becoming more abnormal later

Setting: Rain (someone's thinking of me :P)

Topic: Aircon (someone's not very creative)

Ok.... so I've given myself a challenge... to write a story with the setting being rainy day (perhaps on the beach (since that's where I'm going tomorrow)... and it must involve the aircon.

Sounds like fun. Thanks for helping me brainstorm, Kan (btw, have fun in HK) - we'll see what creative powers the aircon could possibly hold... I'll have Sand around for inspiration... or maybe he'll just steal my pen if he doesn't want me to write, but wants me to play instead!

old hands

2006-01-13T01:00:00.000+11:00

My grandfather's hands are old, and he struggles to lift a boiled peanut from his right hand to his mouth with his left hand. But I, his granddaughter, cracked open the nut and offered him into his soft wrinkly hand, and I can tell he wants to show that he's still ready to interact with the world, even though his wife passed away over a year ago.

He doesn't speak much, and a lot of the conversation is limited to whether or not his food tastes good...

He loves to eat.

We visit him often. I can only hope that when I'm 90 (if I live so long!), I'll have children and grandchildren who visit me and make sure I'm comfortable in my old age.

On another note... I'm off to the seaside again - this time to Koh Samet (Samet Island), with my mother, my brother (P'Ed), his wife Sally, and their son, Sand. After that, I'm coming back to BKK, but heading straight up to Chiang Mai with my mother. So I won't be back in town until late on the 21st! And until then... no internet! Aaaargh!

Family time :)

sleep? what's that?

2006-01-12T05:30:00.000+11:00

Is it in the blood? Or in the upbringing? Whatever it is, I sure as hell am not a day-person at all. I just spent the entire day today grumpy due to lack of sleep... and now... I'm not sleepy at all cos it's night!

What to do?

Play video-games! That must be the answer to everything in this life! (Atleast I hope so...)

Steve keeps complaining that he never makes my blog, so here we are... I've decided to mention that I took my mother to meet Steve at the Pathumwan Princess this morning, and they talked business... as well as gossipped about me right infront of my face!

The rest of the day I spent with Kan... we went to see Narnia (NOT WORTH IT!!!!) - Get the BOOK!!!

After the movie (which is basically bible studies in disguise - King Arthur meets Passion of the Christ meets Noah's Ark), I had this inextinguishable urge to drink Sake (go figure...), which suited the plans perfectly, cos we were eating Japanese anyhow!

Anyhow, totally unproductive day, but relaxing anyhow, I guess, despite my grumpy episodes.

Oh and by the way, if anyone who actually reads this blog happens to know Farhad and know his whereabouts... His wife is REALLY REALLY worried about him! :P

I shall now go continue with Shadow Hearts Covenant (game)... Will try not to be up all night.

Yeah... right... ?

Waiting...

2006-01-11T05:55:00.000+11:00

...for something that may or may not happen, and not sure how i'll react, either...

meanwhile, feeling restless and losing sleep. It's like being in an airport terminal indefinitely

-----------notice to our valued Slumber Airline customers------------

Flight number: Slumber1010

Destination: Wake-up at 7:15

Flight duration: 8 hours

Time remaining: 5 hours

ETA: Undetermined (Slumber1010 has not taken off)*

Cause of delay: Glitch in data transmission causing engine failure

*Please note that regardless of whether or not flight Slumber1010 takes off, the destination will be reached. We apologise for any inconvenience you may face as a result of the shortened or possibly cancelled flight.

*Slumber airlines is not liable for damages, and will not provide refunds for coffee consumption.

---------------------------end of notice---------------------------

Lessons in waking and dreaming

2006-01-07T02:12:00.000+11:00

Last night I dreamt...

Some time in the future, I am sitting at a table having dinner with a group of close friends... and I notice that they all have kids and family... but I'm the only one who doesn't...

Then, I am walking into a tailor with my mother, and she is getting some shirts cut... She asks me how come I no longer design my own stuff and get it tailor made like I used to.

I said I didn't think I was really good and that I wasn't going to make a career of it, so I may as well just give up.

I woke up with a realisation. A lot of the things that I "had to give up" in my life, such as wanting to set up a restaurant, singing, ... anything I've been good at, really, hasn't been because I've "had to". It's because I've chosen to.

And why? Because I'm scared of 1) not being the best, and 2) of becoming good and losing everything.

Where did this come from?

I think because I used to want to be a ballerina, but when I started becoming good, my ankles failed me. I wanted to swim seriously... and when I was at my peak, winning competions, I injured my knee and couldn't really compete anymore.

A few childhood scars, I suppose.

So, back to the lesson in the dream. It started off with people settled down with families... Well, the message is clear... unless I choose something... some path... for myself, I'm going to end up alone and with nothing, no matter how many great ideas I have.

.....

But on another note... I had a far more tangible lesson today during the daytime. Kan was teaching me to drive in Muang Bolarn! Hopefully I'll have a driver's license by the time I get back to Melbourne!

Muang Borarn

the water is rotten, man!

Kan bowing?

Woohoo!!!!

Watch out, mad cow!!

I know nobody cares...

2006-01-06T06:44:00.000+11:00

... but I can't sleep and I have an incredible urge to play tetris... I've been incredibly hooked on Lumines on PSP, and my high score is at something like 113,000 thousand+, but I've had enough! I want some good old fashioned tetris! Thank the deities for the internet!

You bastard!

2006-01-05T02:42:00.000+11:00

You know who you are! STOP KEEPING SECRETS FROM ME!!!!!

AAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!

Belated Happy New Year

2006-01-04T02:36:00.000+11:00

Spent my New Year's in Hua Hin away from civilization... just chilling at the beach condo with Mae (mom) and Isa (dad), P'Oad (older brother) and P'Fon (his girlfriend)...

So... what new year's resolutions have been made around the world?

I didn't think of that this year... All I did was make a promise to one of the people who is very close to me... a promise to always be there for him! I guess that's a pretty tall promise already!

We'll see how that works out, huh?

I think a promise made to a friend is stronger than any new year's resolution I could ever make.

Cheers to that!

away jaaaaa

2005-12-26T01:56:00.000+11:00

Merry X-mas...

I'm off to Hua Hin so I won't be on-line for a little while :(

Hopefully some of you will visit me there for new year!

level of happiness =

2005-12-23T04:09:00.000+11:00

HIGH!!

I'm so happy I've got some of the best friends in the world... even if there are a few misunderstandings along the way, because... well... that's life!

A huge thanks, to everyone, and especially to Kan, for always being there for me, na!!

And besides that, my parents are coming tomorrow morning! I haven't seen them in a year, so I'm really excited about it :)

Thanks to all!

Strange development...

2005-12-21T19:47:00.000+11:00

I'm listening to Thai music!!! Aaaaargh!

Hehe, well, I never would have expected it of myself, but hell, I may as well do as my friends do so they don't think I'm so weird!

I'm even making an effort to dress a little more 'girly' and not so 'adult' all the time... I guess that's just cos I've started to feel a little old now... and not to mention, it seems that all my Thai friends are younger than me (And nobody calls me 'Pi'!!!).

When in Rome...

But this is the song that has captured most of my attention, for some strange reason:

เรื่องเดียว
(one thing)

มุมมองคนเรา หลากหลายแตกต่างกันไป
(our way of seeing the world is different)
ฉันอาจสื่อสารได้ไม่เข้าใจ ว่าจริงๆแล้วต้องการพูดอะไร
(i might not be able to make you understand what I mean)
แต่อยู่ที่เพลงนึง เพลงที่ลึกซึ้งและก็กินใจ
(but it's in one song that is deep in my heart)
แต่กลัวเธอฟังแล้วอาจจะไม่เข้าใจ จึงอยากจะร้องเพลงนี้ให้เธอรู้เอาไว้
(but I'm afraid you won't understand if you listen, so i'll sing it to you so you know)

* ว่ามีเพียงเรื่องเดียว เป็นเรื่องเดียวที่อยากจะให้เธอฟังและเข้าใจด้านเดียว
(there's just one thing, one thing that i want you to hear and understand)
ไม่ต้องคิดอะไร และไม่ได้หมายความอื่นใด ฉันก็พร้อมไม่มีอะไรข้องเกี่ยว
(don't take this the wrong way, I don't mean to complicate things)
(ฉัน)มีเพียงแค่เรื่องเดียว เป็นเรื่องเดียวที่อยากจะให้เธอฟังและเข้าใจผู้เดียว
(there's just one thing, one thing that I want only you to understand)
ไม่ต้องคิดมากมาย ฉันไม่ได้หมายความอื่นใด มองที่ฉันแอบรักเธออยู่รู้ไหม
(don't take this the wrong way, it's simple, I just wanted you to know I secretly love you, you know?)

แค่คุยกันบางทีอาจน้อย จนเธออาจเลยไป
(sometimes we speak too little and you might not realise)
อาจฟังไม่ชัดและอาจจะดูไม่ใช่ จึงอยากจะร้องเพลงนี้ให้เธอเข้าใจ
(it might not be clear and maybe it doesn't look like it, so that's why I want to sing you this song so you understand)

(ซ้ำ *)
(repeat*)

ไม่ต้องคิดอะไรทั้งนั้น ไม่ต้องมากอะไรทั้งนั้น ฉันรักเธอรักเธอ
(please don't take this wrong, but I love you, love you)
ไม่ต้องคิดอะไรทั้งนั้น ไม่ต้องมากอะไรทั้งนั้น ฉันรักเธอคนเดียว
(please don't take this wrong, but I love you alone)

(ซ้ำ *)
(repeat*)

I'm in love....

2005-12-20T05:01:00.000+11:00

...with all you wonderful people!

Thank-you to EVERYONE who remembered my birthday! I'm surprised that so many people wished me, so I'm not going to go about naming you all!

Just....

THANK-YOU!

Right wing and other right wing!

2005-12-19T04:19:00.000+11:00

Before I go into the point of this blog... I'd like to wish myself a happy birthday!

And thanks to Ton, P'Oad, and Kan (in that order) for wishing me right after midnight...

Thanks P'Ed, P'Sally and Little Sand for day-early birthday lunch at emporium!

Now... to the point:

After beating Dragon Quest VIII, there is a sidequest that leads one into the world of the Dragovian's. During this sidequest, a team of four monsters pops up, that must be fought.

1. Right Wing
2. Head of State
3. Body Politic
4. Left Wing

These four monsters fuse together to form a monster called the Democrobot. But during the fusion, "Left Wing" becomes "Other Right Wing"

What is this suggesting?

1. In a democratic system, there is no real left wing, only two right wings
2. Democracy is evil and must be destroyed
3. Democracy will seek to destroy you, so democracy must be destroyed

I wanted to write about it for Mega, but Kan thought it would simply baffle the simple readers of Thailand's top gaming magazine. Besides, I asked P'Oad about it, and he simply said... "Who gives a shit??!"

So there you have it. The authors of the English translation of DQ8 slid in a submissive message for the boys (and few girls) playing the game, and perhaps the generation will grow up to destroy democracy not knowing where the deep-rooted hatred came from.

I wonder if the names were the same in Japanese? If they were, then I seriously wonder what the imperialists are thinking? Or is it just imperialist gamers of Japan?

But I like the suggestion that there is no true left wing in democracy... straight to the point! And a rather political message for an otherwise quite straightforward game!

An ongoing sorrow

2005-12-17T00:14:00.000+11:00

There are worse things that happen in the world than the deterioration of relationships. But if there's anything that can get a person crying for hours, it isn't the starving children in the world, it isn't the millions dieing of AIDS. Although those are tragic things, it's always what is closest to a heart that a person cries about.

I used to think that the reason I always ended in tears when I talked to my oldest brother was because he didn't approve of the things I wanted to do, or because he was so harsh in his manner of speaking.

But I've come to realise that that is really only the surface. And my previous theory can't be right. When people tell me what I can and cannot do, I get angry, not sad. When people criticise me, I take the opportunity to improve.

Tonight, my brother didn't specifically deny me the chance to do anything. He didn't criticise me.

And I realised why it is that ever since I was around 15 or 16, I cry for hours after I've talked to my brother. It's because I feel like I've lost a friend. I feel like I've lost a brother. There hasn't really been any communication for years.

I know I shouldn't be attached to the past, but the truth is, I know I used to be close to him. I know we used to have so much fun together. And I know I was a difficult teenager, and I guess that is what has caused the bridge to crumble... I'd so desperately like to build it again. I'm not sad because I couldn't go out tonight.

Nobody told me I couldn't go to the jazz festival. I'd rather miss it, because it makes me sad to leave now. Right now I'd gladly sit at home every night and every day on my very best behaviour if only I could have my oldest brother back.

Busy busy busy

2005-12-16T05:37:00.000+11:00

Thailand is a great place to be for someone with friends scattered all over the world. People seem to quite enjoy coming to Bangkok... so that means I don't have to worry too much about having friends over... I guess the downside is that I have to revisit the same sites every year to show people around ... but that's ok, cos I get to see the people I love!

Currently, Kirsti and her boyfriend Seppo are here in Thailand, and are staying in BKK until my birthday and joining me for dinner :) Yay!

So yes... today took them to Wat Phra Kaew, Silpakorn University, on the ferry across the Chao Phraya River and Siam Square *phew* What a day!

Just to change the topic... I had a brilliant start to this day... I was published in "The Nation". I wrote a letter to the editor criticising this person who had totally bashed Thai people... I wasn't happy at all!

Here's what I wrote:

Whilst I wholeheartedly agree with the author of the yesterday's opinion piece, my agreement does not extend further than the title and the first sentence: "Thaksin alone is not powerful enough to cause society's ills." I concur that it is certainly short-sighted and shallow to blame one person for all of society's ills. However, I have not gotten the impression that anyone - let alone everyone - is doing so, as the author suggests. Naturally, the prime minister, being the figurehead of the TRT party and of Thailand, will be the focus of most of the attacks. This does not mean, however, that anyone truly believes that he is the spawn of evil in Thai society.

The author turns around and blames everything on Thai society. However, by calling Thai society "unethical, selfish and greedy", the only thing the author really highlights is his own patronising attitude toward Thai people. Firstly, he believes that Thai people have all been duped en-masse into believing that one man can somehow be the root of all ills. Secondly, by highlighting that everyone is to blame - "teachers, students, politicians, monks, community leaders and followers" - he has managed to stereotype an entire nation.

Does the author not also, as he put it in his piece, "blame everyone else for [his] problems"? I am suggesting that stereotyping is discriminatory, and that in itself is a problem. Is this patronising attitude of the author truly the fault of the citizens of Thailand?

He also refers to Thai people as being short sighted by nature, and that this attitude is what causes society's ills. Perhaps it has not occurred to the author from his perch that he too is a member of society as long as he resides in Thailand.

Valisa
Bangkok

Just to end on a different note: Indy has an answer to everything, and that answer is SHRIMP! "Kung Khrap!" says Indy.

Farewell...

2005-12-11T23:46:00.000+11:00

Is this the end of student-unionism as we know it?

Yes, the amendment has been passed.

I guess we're fucked.

To the rescue

2005-12-10T01:45:00.000+11:00

I was feeling really shitty today and went out for a walk on my own, ended up in a cafe near ABAC. Just reading Harper's (the political magazine and not the women's magazine!!!)... and found that I share a similarity with Jack Kerouac...

Excerpts from Harper's Magazine, October 2005
A medical history of Jack Kerouac:

"[He] described experiences that were interpreted to be auditory and visual hallucinations."

"[Later,] the patient denied ever having had hallucinatory experiences, explaining the previously decribed experiences as "echo" effects in his mind of conversations he had had previously."

Hehehe..... This sounds so familiar! I get these "echo effects" of previous conversations, too, but there needs to be a trigger. I guess I am fortunate and I have been able to control and turn them to my advantage. Particularly, they are useful in exams. Under exam-stress-conditions, the questions trigger memories of teachers' and lecturers' words and I get the answers to the questions as though straight from the original teller.

This is why, during my school years, I never had to study, as I never missed class. University is more difficult, because time-table clashes mean I miss some classes. Also, the size and level of the interaction in class has a direct influence. I find that I remember things my tutors say far better than what my lecturers say...

Anyhow... as I was sitting in that cafe making this revelation about my connection with Jack Kerouac, I was, ofcourse, feeling rather down. The thing is, I hate to hear people I care about cry... and I've been hearing that these past two days. Kan called and heard my voice and came to the rescue! Ofcourse, I had a mental breakdown first because he insisted that I talk it through and get it out of my system.... but then afterwards I felt the results of the catharsis.

Feeling better...

THANK-YOU for being a great friend!!

By the way... it's been a while since I paid any attention to my inner child:

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child.
Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.
You cherish all of the details in life.
Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

chills

2005-12-09T14:07:00.000+11:00

I just had the most terrible dream where Alba jumped off the balcony, because she didn't under that it would hurt. I saw her jump off and I was thinking shit. My heart racing, I rushed down the stairs... She was so limp - it was so lifelike! I took her to the hospital, but the vet wasn't in, and wouldn't be for the next few days. I was at a loss - didn't know what to do. Woke up in tears.

I hate that kind of dream. It's just one of those days... There's a bit of a dark cloud looming above me and I feel as though my heart were going to break.

But the good news is that Alba is very well and is too busy licking and chewing her foot to notice me. I'm wondering how she's doing mentally instead... This foot-biting has been going on for the past 15 minutes now.

mixed feelings part III

2005-12-07T18:14:00.000+11:00

Is obsession *really* the way forward?

Believe me - I'm sorry.

But again, to change the subject... I felt really stressed during the daytime, and for some strange reason I just fell asleep. It's like I couldn't take it anymore and just shutdown. I had another strange dream, again related to videogames.

I've been playing dragonquest - so I guess it's no surprise I should dream about it, other than the fact that I've never, before today, had dreams that feature videogames.

Anyhow, in this dream, I am enthralled by the dark wizard Dhoulmagus - even though I know he is an evil bastard, and I allow him to 'court' me (the setting of the game is medieval). I am wearing white - a corset and knee length erm... do you call them bloomers or what? (like I said, the setting is medieval, but I have no idea why I was in my medieval underwear) But then I change my mind and break away, although he is trying to control me. When I run away I hide in a public toilet (no longer medieval), and wait for the colours of the walls and ceiling to return to normal. They are flashing wildly as though under some strange curse. And when that is over... where do I find myself but Melbourne University, trying to flush toilet paper down a toilet bowl that seems to reject it. When I give up with the flushing and come out, I need to take part in some strike. All the factions are meant to work together, but when I try to find out where it is, the ALS girls at Melbourne Uni are super-bitchy to me and refuse to tell me where it is.

So I'm flipping through some magazines at the library trying to find the answer when in occurs to me that probably something happened at the NUS conference that I'm entirely unaware of. Since I'm not there, I think perhaps I should call Akshay, but before I can do so, the conference is over and the Melbourne Uni student unionists are pelleting me with rocks and saying I'm with the "moonies" (whatever that means - I have NO IDEA!) while Akshay shows up and tells me I need to go for a meeting with him and the new NUS president. He seems quite stressed, and when I see the new president and gensec of NUS, I've never seen their faces before, and I don't hesitate to make it known to the president, that "I've never seen your ugly face before." The point isn't that I am trying to be rude, although I am by then very emotionally distressed by the behaviour of the girls - it's just that it slipps out because his features really are very very very ugly. But then I feel bad for hurting his feelings cos he doesn't join us for lunch anymore. The new gensec is much more amicable in his countenance, though.

But then I woke up... so I guess I'll never know what happens next. I just feel tired and nauseous right now.

mixed feelings part II

2005-12-07T15:33:00.000+11:00

Ok, a little more stress-removal, which I am doing on my blog, because I'm too scared to be personal and confrontational, but I want to be honest, nonetheless (and again, sorry to those that have no clue what I'm talking about):

There's a time and place for being blind and pushing on - this is not one of them.

Ok. There's my cryptic message for the day. Chnage of subject. Now I'm going to post a few more pics of Udon Thani, because I know that they'll cheer up someone's day, even if it's not mine. Atleast I'm doing a little bit of good. Try not to stress over results, na, my dear friend!

But before I do that, I was dreaming last night about playing a videogame... But it wasn't anything I've ever played before... At the same time it was a portable console, like a PSP, but it was fully interactive, too. As in, it was like real life, but I knew I was in a videogame and could switch it off at any stage. It was like a cross between Zelda, Dragonquest and Xenosaga in one game... plus, it had high elements of 'darkness', as though from a gloomy oil painting... very black, and faded red and grey schemes.

I was playing with various people, too. There was this girl - I have no idea who she was, that I played with. The this one guy who seemed to be an amalgamation of 'the type' of guys I tend to develop a crush on.

My parents were there, too... but they were having lunch (it was raining, too). And they were scolding - get this!! - Kan(!) for playing too many videogames and being late for lunch, and saying he would have to wait until dinner.

Poor Kan - looked so stressed! Can't eat for another 5 hours! Don't know what to do already!

But hehehe... just to set the record straight: My parents are wonderful people who would hate to see anyone feeling hungry (especially my mother - she's always hanging around making sure that there are enough snacks for everyone!). They are also used to such atrocities such as both me and P'Oad waking up only around 6 p.m. in time for dinner... so they are pretty lenient about eating times!

Oh, yes, and P'Oad was also in the dream, my big brother - as always giving me advice about gaming. Thanks! You are there to advise me even in the dream realm!

Ok. Right. I was going to post pics of Udon Thani. Here goes!

Were you aware that the Church is now trying to convert the people of the Isaan region by making them drink holy water??

Pictures from the Market:

mixed feelings

2005-12-06T21:15:00.000+11:00

Back from Udon Thani... it was a fun trip... but before I start publishing pictures of the journey, I feel I should let go of a little anxiety I feel onto this post.

I just don't know how I feel about things anymore.

That's all. I guess I shouldn't really delve any further into the stressing issue. Some of you may have heard way too much about this already... some of you may have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. That's ok.

Let's just skip to Udon Thani now. I can sum up the trip in two words: I'm STUFFED!!!

It appears that for the host family, food comes first, before anything else!

First meal in Udon Thani

I was unsure of what to take pictures of, so Nic and Jan said I should take picture's of Thai people...

Look, no hands! Nic and 'A' go a-rowin'

On the steps of Kan's Uncle's house

By the pond... waiting for those rowing to return safely...

Biking around

Not just dinner, a banquet!

The girls hit the target!

Ok.... I'm too lazy to put up more photos on my blog now.... More will be put up later...

For now, it's back to the very exciting DragonQuest VIII!!

Short note from Udon road trip

2005-12-05T18:08:00.000+11:00

Why is it that the more people there are around me, the more depressed I feel?

What's wrong with me?

Off to see.... the Naga

2005-12-02T15:55:00.000+11:00

I'm off to Udon Thani (near the border of Laos) ... the city of the mythical(??) Naga (Thai: PhayaNag), a creature reputed to cast fireballs out of the Mekong River. But before I go, I'm going to try one more time to upload photos of Chatuchak market last weekend...

This is how Kan looks after HALF a can of beer!!

Me? All good!

The people in Chatuchak:

This waiter reminds me of this western actor... can't remember his name... aaargh! If anyone has the same thought, please tell me who it is!

Oooh yeah, check out the ass (why do Thai police uniforms have to be so tight??!)

What is it about Thailand that draws hippies searching for their soul? Do you see Thai people roaming around the country in rastas looking for their soul??!

Bangkok Cowboy... This dude is COOL!!

Birthday party

2005-11-29T18:08:00.000+11:00

P'Oad attempts to cover his face with... *gasp*!!! (sorry kids!)

Sand's Birthday

P'Kuu and Incy

So much cake, so little time! Little Sand takes on a mountain!

Cheesecake... for the kids??! OR for the mother??

His Royal Majesty Indy, King of Legoland!

Blow them out!

New Photos

2005-11-22T23:32:00.000+11:00

Picture album for Nov. 2005 has been added under 'more pictures'

Just got back from Pattaya where I spent some time with Pa Aew and Lung Maw, as well as with Steve and his daughter, Annie :)

My face is burned (that's what you get for playing in the pool with a nine year old for three hours, and then taking a walk down the beach repeatedly!!

Also, managed to discover the 'joys' of communicating with the very drunk Korean snowboard team passing through Thailand... Very exciting... *aherm* Good Kimchi.

Some of you may know that I lost my EHD some months back - along with it, my unfinished book. Well, I've started up my endeavours again... but this time, it'll be better, because the idea is in my head, as well as the memory of what worked and what didn't... plus, I've invested in a few books to have better research on the 12 signs and dreams...

While we were in Asia Books, Kan was helping me check whether the dream book had infomation on each of the 12 animals of the chinese horoscope. See, he's got a watch with one of the animals representing each hour... and strangely enough, as those versed in astrology may know, there is no such sign as 'the cat'. But his watch clearly had a creature that was the cat... in place of the RABBIT!! I suspect carniverous foul-play.

(by the way, the book had all the signs except the rooster/chicken... but I'll make do with the turkey or goose as a subsititute. It also has information on dreaming of cucumbers: "A dream-cigar may sometimes be just a cigar, as Freud put it, but he would have argued that a cucumber is rarely just a cucumber. The size of the vegetable may offer a surprising insight into the extent of your libidinous appetite." I won't even go into what the book says about cornflakes.)

CV

2005-11-18T19:48:00.000+11:00

For anyone interested in giving me a job, I've added a link to my CV on the sidebar....

I'll be updating it with hyperlinks soon... for now, just the basics!

Keep your fingers crossed for me, please!

2005-11-18T00:45:00.000+11:00

Hey anyone who is bored enough to read this post:

I had a bit of an interview with a friend of Pa Aew (my aunt) who's in the know of the media in Thailand, and she's gonna try to hook me up with the Tourism Authority of Thailand...

So hopefully I'll get to do some travel writing :)

Keep your fingers crossed for me PLEASE!

Loy Loy Krathong!

2005-11-17T02:18:00.000+11:00

Yay! Today was the first time I went to Loy Krathong in .... MANY years!

We went to tam bun in the wat... and then after that went to the a fair ... and it started POURING!!! I got really drenched woay!

Hehehe... in the end floated the thing in my garden, in the carp-pond. Some confused fishies there tonight for sure :)

ABAC was good in the morning... will really consider stuyding there... plus, it looks like I can skip straight to PhD!

Philosophy at ABAC?

2005-11-16T03:25:00.000+11:00

Should I come study my post-grad in Thailand? It's a really interesting looking program...

I'm going to go and check out the uni tomorrow.

ABAC's grad philosophy department

GOAL!

2005-11-15T04:43:00.000+11:00

Went to see Corpse Bride with Kan today... or so we thought...

We were in the wrong cinema! Talk about collective absentmindedness! We didn't check which theatre we were walking into, and the ticket checker was the one that ushered us into that theatre...

After the 'national anthem/tribute to the king' ended, what a surprise we got (note to all those who don't know: Before you see a movie in Thailand, there is always a tribute to His Royal Majesty) when we finally sat down and the titles showed "GOAL" and not "Corpse Bride"...

But it was a good movie anyhow... Liverpool lost to Newcastle United... HAHAHA!!! Sorry Liverpool fans out there!! The main actor looked exactly like an old friend of mine: Ned Brown... except Ned isn't Mexican... he's 1/8 Thai and the rest british...

No wonder people keep telling me I look like I could be Spanish or Latina...

To the Melbourne Party People: Benefit gig to free dj Spikenard

2005-11-14T02:41:00.000+11:00

Hey all that read my blog. Below is a message I received from a very trusted friend of mine. She's an international student studying at the University of Melbourne, and her husband is from Singapore. I have removed her name from the message below to protect her identity. If anyone is free, please help her out!

Hello everybody,

This is ****, Dj Spikenard's wife. I am writing to notify you all that he is now being detained at the Maribyrnong Immigration Detention Centre.

I have organized an event as a benefit gig to free my husband. Anybody in Melbourne, Australia

Please come to

Chunky Funky
dirty, sexy, house
guest Dj Shakti Shivar (UK) (Hooj Choons Records)
with Dj Elcid (hip hop)
Thursday 24th November
@ Laundry 50 Johnston St, Fitzroy
10pm-3am Doors:$10/all

My husband was meant to play on this gig but since he was detained on friday night this gig will be a benefit in order to raise money to get him out.

Please do not think this is a joke, if anybody has questions please contact me on Mobile 0424677136, Home 93814970.

Please help, any kind souls left in this world, to free my husband.

Sincerely,

****

Back at last!!

2005-11-11T17:35:00.000+11:00

Home sweet home... with a whole different set of rules... I guess I have to be a good girl here, huh?

Anyhow, for all of you who wanted my phone number here, it's the same as last year. The problem currently is that I have no idea what my own number is. So anyone who I have already messaged with my number, please be so kind as to post a comment here or something and say what my number is?

**note: this is a little later - my brother told me the number is +66(1)7637271**

The flight back with Kan was entertaining! It's the first time I've flown back to Thailand with a friend... all we did was eat, sleep and play video games. We even woke up at one stage at exactly the same time and played games for an hour and fell back asleep. How random.

Farhad: If you are reading this, please send me the picture we took at the airport to my gmail!

Kan: I'm bored already! Help!!

Indy and Inc, P'Art's two kids have grown so much! Inc just turned one, and she's walking around alot... she's really attached to her mommy!

Indy is so playful and tall now! He's three and talks in one of those little kid cute husky voices.

Tomorrow I'll see Sand and P'Ed and P'Sally in the morning... can't wait to see how Sand has grown... and can't wait to see the look on P'Ed's face! He still doesn't know I'm back here!

The surprise worked out really well this morning. P'Art and P'Kuu were at home still, and they were pleasantly surprised (I hope!!)

I almost wasn't admitted into the country though, cos my Thai passport is expired! Kan helped me fill out all the forms, *phew*, or I would have been stuck for hours trying to figure out how to spell in Thai!

Can't wait to see what's in store these next three months...

Home....

2005-11-09T21:31:00.000+11:00

Sarinda: You are such a bi-atch, man! Sharing all our personal battles with the world, HUH?? HAHAHA!! I'll have to get you back some time after I get back from BKK! You just watch out... ... ... erm... MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

*I think I need another hug :(*

*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

So near, yet so far... Damn. Still haven't finished packing. Procrastination. Fun.

Here's something to cheer me up ... and hopefully you, too...

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing!

One of these mornings I'm gonna.....

2005-10-29T09:47:00.000+10:00

...surprise my family!!! Haha... I'm not telling when I get back!!! My flight is arriving at 6:25 a.m., so I'll just catch a cab home! It's daylight, after all! Hehehe.... I can't wait!

Actually... the only one I'll probably surprise is the maid.... since if I arrive at home say around 8 a.m., everyone will have just left for work, P'Oad won't be back from work for another two hours... and... well... I'm not sure whether Indy and Inc will be old enough to understand that I'm not really supposed to be there...

By the way... a belated happy first birthday to my beautiful niece, Inc!

My dog will be surprised... Alba will probably wet herself :p

As for my brother's dogs.... Conan will have a fit... it'll take him a month to remember me again (he's a wire-hair terrier with a shorter memory than a Goldfish). Cola will revert back to his puppy days... although he's now fat and old black lab... and cover me in drool and whatever else happens to be on his tongue! :p Ick!

Hehehe... well, I've given away that it's a weekday, in any case! HAHA! I guess I'll catch up with Steve and his daughter for lunch after P'Oad comes home and goes to sleep, and just kill time until the evening.

Or maybe I'll just sleep... haha! Me and Kan will probably be playing DS games all the way back to BKK anyhow, so I probably won't get any sleep.

Can't wait to get home!! Should I tell, or should I not tell... hmm...

*The suspense is killing me!*